Rocking up to the gym for the first time in your life ever, struggling to figure out how to use any or all of the machines, wearing gear that's far too new and absolutely gives away the fact that you've never worked out in your life.
You're too fresh-faced, too optimistic, too happy, too obvious.
It's a tough spot to be in, but if you're lucky, you'll have a mate with you to show you the ropes.
* "Umm, you're using that wrong."
Alright, it's very possible that you may have been using the equipment wrong.
And you very well may need help that would be very much appreciated to ensure that you don't maim yourself on the rowing machine
* "Can you actually hurry up, I want to use that cross trainer for the eighth time this week."
* "Let me help, I know what I'm doing."
By all means, help. Go ahead. Do it.
* "I can bench twice that!"
No one care, man.
* "Do you want me to be your personal trainer?"
Unless you are, in fact, a personal trainer who is employed by the gym, chances are, nobody wants you to be their personal trainer.