12 Emotional Affair Signs To Judge Your Secret Relationship Better

An emotional affair is exciting. And you may tell yourself it is innocent. You get to experience the same flutter of the heart as you once did with your partner. It’s just harmless flirting, isn’t it? Harmless flirting is good. It’s fun, it’s sexy, and it makes you feel more confident about yourself and your conversational skills. But is your harmless flirting with a colleague at your workplace turning into an emotional affair without you realizing it?

Sometimes, we just don’t want to accept a friendship is turning into something more. After all, from what we understand, it’s only an affair if you kiss someone or sleep with them, right?

Talking to someone? Since when is that an affair?! Honestly, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with talking to someone or enjoying the time you spend with them. There’s even nothing wrong with wanting to hang out with them or talk for hours over the phone, late into the night. Where things turn murky is when you start prioritizing them over your own partner.

Sometimes, you don’t have to kiss a friend or go out on a date with them to cheat on your own partner. And that’s where the signs of a budding emotional affair can help you understand what you’re feeling, nip the affair in the bud AND save your romantic relationship at the same time.

Even without realizing it, you may just be more addicted to your “friend” than you think. When your little flirtation or work spouse becomes more than a coworker, acquaintance, or friend, you need to decide if there are signs of an emotional affair and what you’re going to do about it.

# Your behavior

You’re generally very friendly and touchy with this friend of yours. But subconsciously, both of you keep some distance from each other when your lover is around.

There’s more awkwardness and formality in your conversations when your lover’s by your side. Why? If you don’t have anything to hide, why would your behavior change?

# Excitement

A big sign of an emotional affair is the excitement of sharing new thoughts or ideas with this friend, be it your review of a movie you just watched or gossip about another coworker or classmate.

If anything interesting happens in your life, be it an interesting photo you took or something new you tried, they’re the first person you want to share the news with. Not your partner, but them.

# You need to stay in touch

Do you ever feel incomplete or like something’s missing when you don’t speak to your friend or text them for a day or two?

Even when you’re on vacation, do your thoughts drift and leave you wondering what your friend is up to *or worse, you wish they were around!*? We all think of our loved ones when they aren’t around, but if thinking of them is distracting you, it could signify an emotional affair.

# You share your secrets

Do you share your innermost secrets with this friend? You may be sharing secrets that even your partner doesn’t know about. And the weird thing, it makes you feel good to share such intimate details with your friend.

At times, the idea of sharing a new secret may even excite you or make you feel more connected to each other. This is not a good sign if you are confiding in this person, maybe even about your partner.

# You want their attention

You get annoyed if you call your friend up late one night and realize they’re busy on another call with someone else. Maybe you find yourself feeling jealous if they date someone else or speak highly about someone else to you.

You’re not dating each other, but both of you like getting each other’s attention.

# It’s an addiction

You’re addicted to this friend. Both of you feel really happy to meet each other after a long weekend. And you feel like you’ve missed out on a good time if you don’t get to spend some time talking to this friend.

If you miss this person more than you miss your partner when you’re not together, that’s a sign your friendship is bordering on the edge of an emotional affair.

# You’re easily aroused

Do you get easily aroused when you’re having a conversation about sex with this friend?

If you feel good talking about your own intimate sexual details with your friend and it somehow arouses you, there’s clearly an emotional affair in the making already. And chances are, it will lead to something more as well.

# Sexual tension

There’s a lot of sexual tension in the air. Even when both of you sit close to each other, you can clearly sense every part of your body that is touching.

We all find people attractive, but when that goes beyond and makes you question or doubt your relationship, it could be a sign of an emotional affair and more.

# You flirt naturally

Both of you don’t always realize it, but there’s a lot of flirty conversations when both of you share a moment, and there’s no one around. Other people around you may even comment on how in sync or cozy you seem. People could even mistake you for a couple.

# You want to make an impression

If you always find yourself dressing up better when you meet this friend, it is a sign of something.

You may not consciously see this an a sign of an emotional affair in the making, but you always try to look your best when spending time with your friend. Do you touch up your makeup or spray an extra spritz of cologne?

# Compliments

If you’re showing signs of an emotional affair with a friend, big chances are you take their compliments pretty seriously.

If your friend tells you that you look prettier with your hair styled a particular way or that red looks beautiful on you, it just makes your day. And you follow up by wearing your hair that way or doing what they suggest more often.

# You’ve found your secret soulmate

This friend of yours understands you better than anyone else in the whole world. And you respect your friend’s advice more than you care about your own partner’s.

This is usually a temporary fluke because something in your relationship isn’t quite right. But feeling like this is a major sign of an emotional affair.