10 Do's and Don'ts To Follow in a Relationship Argument

Relationship arguments are inevitable for most couples. Of course, there are a few happy couples who rarely argue and understand each other completely. But for the rest of us mere mortals, a petty fight in love over a confusion or a misunderstanding is pretty common.

Getting into an argument with your lover doesn’t make you a bad partner, nor does it mean that your relationship is less than perfect. But how you end the argument can define you as a good or bad partner. It can make or break the entirety of your relationship.

You might not be able to control arguments, but you can control how you deal with them.

# Don’t be silent

When your partner confronts you or asks you for an answer, don’t just ignore them or sit quietly like they’re not important enough to deserve a response. Many people tend to do this when confrontation occurs, but it isn’t helping your relationship in any way.

You may think that ignoring them may be the best way to deal with an angry lover, but in fact, they’ll feel worse. You’re building a wall on your own when you keep silent because you’re refusing to talk to them.

# Don’t raise your hand

You’ll get physical only when you have nothing worthy to say or defend yourself. You probably know you’re wrong and can’t justify yourself, and instead of accepting defeat, you use your hands to get even and show your power. Never do this.

Also, this is one of the signs of a toxic relationship, so don’t get physical if you don’t want your relationship to go there. You need to realize conflict can be solved without ever raising a hand.

# Don’t kick them when they’re down

Don’t say extremely harsh statements to which your partner *which aren’t even related to the argument* just to shut them up. “You’re a disgusting loser who can’t hold onto a job. You have no friends, no one likes you… you’re so miserable you make me sick…” is definitely not going to be accepted with a smile!

Most importantly, they’re your partner, so you shouldn’t be saying such harsh words! Remember, once you say something, you can never take it back.

# Don’t threaten your partner

Don’t say that you’re leaving or that you want to break up when you’re in the middle of an argument. It doesn’t matter whether you just say it to scare your partner or you really mean it, but an angry argument is not the scenario to bring up such a delicate issue.

Also, you really shouldn’t be threatening your partner in any way. This isn’t the way to solve arguments. For all you know, that thought was just triggered by a fight, and you never really meant it.

# Don’t use profanities

Avoid verbally abusing your partner or using profanities in an argument just to emphasize your point. It’ll just infuriate your partner and make them more aggressive.

Also, it might just end up hurting your partner, which will cause further damage. If you genuinely want to have a healthy approach to your argument, avoid using profanities.

# Don’t involve a third person

Don’t bring in a third person as an arbitrator when your partner isn’t comfortable fighting or arguing their case in front of that person. Your partner may feel betrayed when you and the third person gang up together and try to explain why you’re right and your partner is wrong.

A relationship is between two people and nobody else, and this goes for arguments too. So respect your relationship enough to not involve anyone else.

# Do be honest

The first step in an argument is honesty. You need to be clear about why you’re angry and you need to talk about it with your partner. If you don’t know why you’re angry, tell your partner that you’re not sure why you’re upset but you just are.

The key to effective communication is plain honesty.

Stop hiding feelings from your partner and stop dismissing your emotions. Tell them how you feel, how it upset you, and why you feel that way. It really isn’t that hard to communicate.

# Do try to communicate

Really, why are you arguing? You’re arguing to fix a confusion, aren’t you? So is there really a need to hurt your partner? Instead of trying hurt them with harsh words, try to communicate with them so they can understand you and your expectations or demands.

If you never learn to communicate, you’ll also never be able to resolve any conflict in your relationship. All that will happen is issues will build up until your relationship can no longer take it.

# Do try to calm down

It’s hard to see anything but red when you’re in the middle of an argument. But as angry as you may be, you need to understand that anger will never fix the issue. And past experiences would tell you the same thing.

Before you try to fix the problem, try your best to calm down your mind. Otherwise, you might say or do something you’ll regret.

When you feel unbearably angry, excuse yourself or sit down quietly for a few minutes until your anger ebbs down, and try to talk to each other without raising your voices.

# Do apologize

If you think you’re wrong, swallow your pride and tell your partner that you’re sorry. They may be taken aback by it, but they’ll appreciate your gesture and acknowledge your sincerity.

And even if you’re right and your partner apologizes to you, you need to tell your partner that you’re sorry too because you lost your cool or because you misunderstood them.