Love doesn’t make relationships magically easier. So, if you don’t see these signs you’re ready for a relationship, expect heartbreak ahead.
I cannot tell you how much of my life I craved a relationship. All I wanted was a boyfriend. I wanted cute and nauseating couples photos and hand holding. It’s something a lot of people want. We see happy endings in movies and see our married friends glowing. It looks so good. We want someone to cuddle and complain to and rave about.
I know it can be hard to admit that you are holding yourself back from the happiness you crave. It feels like you failed before you even started.
But accepting that I wasn’t ready for a relationship was the best thing I ever did. Not only did it help me gain more maturity and peace, when I did find someone to date, I was more calm and eager to go with the flow.
# You rush thingsI was known for doing this at one point. I hated the beginning of dating where things were up in the air and you weren’t comfortable. Wanting to be in an official relationship before it is really time is a sign you are not ready for what a relationship entails.
# You expect the worstGoing into dating with a negative mindset sets you up for a negative outcome. After being ghosted or cheated on, I didn’t expect much when dating. I stopped getting my hopes up altogether and just waited for them to bail. That proved to me that I wasn’t ready to be vulnerable.
# You are too nervousNerves are healthy. Being nervous for a first date is totally okay. But, if you are so anxious for a first date that you have panic attacks or an urge to cancel, you may not be ready for a relationship. Things will only become more serious.
# Your expectations are too highBefore I gave up hope on a relationship, I expected a lot. I thought going on a first date was committing to something. I was so nervous that the date would go well and that I’d have to do it again. Simply, I wanted the energy I put into one date to be worth it for me. But having expectations at all when dating almost always backfires.
# You have severe trust issues
Relationships can work if you have trust issues as long as you are vocal about them. Sometimes your past still hangs over you. If your trust issues get in the way of enjoying dating to the point that you are jealous and suspicious all the time, you probably need more time.
# You overanalyze
Each message or Instagram post has some hidden meaning. You think about each word your date said or if they kissed you at the end of the night or not.
When you’re ready for a relationship, you will let your feelings do most of the work and trust them so you don’t have to do so much.
# You want a relationship with anyone
This was my issue for a long time. I let my desire for a relationship override my desire for a good partner. If someone was interested in me, I was interested in them. They could give me what I wanted and not because we were a good match.
This can lead to unhappiness, resentment, and even dysfunctional relationships.
# You have relationship goals
If you have an idea in your head of what your relationship will look like, you are not prepared for an actual relationship. If you see yourself holding hands and cuddling and going on vacations, that is a nice dream. Remember, you could find the perfect person who offers something else.
You have to be open to other things when getting into a relationship.
# You have a timelineIf you have a plan of being engaged by age 30, with 2 kids by 35, and a house in the suburbs and this and that, you are not prepared for the chaos and uncertainty that comes with sharing your life with another person.
# You hate being singleI know being single can be boring and lonely. I hated it for a long time. But once I learned how to make the most of that time and work on the things that were holding me back from what I wanted, I realized being single is also something to enjoy.