If you are too available, you may seem needy, like you don’t have a life of your own—which may put you at risk of being taken for granted. The old strategy of “playing hard to get” comes into effect a little bit when it comes to availability; less is usually more.
The chase is part of human nature. Everybody loves the act of trying to “get” someone. If they know they’ve already got you and can have you whenever they please, the interest goes away fairly quickly.
Many people have been there. Some people even forget about their friends the second they start dating someone because they just want to spend all of their time with their newest flame. And, well…that definitely doesn’t work out for very long.
After a while, some people figure out that they are just too available for the people they are dating. They always say yes when their new partner wants to do something, and that leads to them being taken advantage of. It also encourages the new partner to place high expectations on your time.
Ultimately, those relationships don’t work out very often.
# “Yes” frequents your vocabulary
If you’re constantly saying yes to everything your new squeeze asks or wants to do, then you’re too available. Don’t you have your own plans? Don’t you just want to curl up on the couch and watch a movie, instead of going to some lame car show?
# You immediately reply to any call or textUmm… you’re in the shower. You should not be texting back if you’re in the shower. This is a big sign that you’re too available. It’s okay to reply right away if you’re not busy with anything, but if you’re in the middle of getting your teeth cleaned at the dentist and have to spit on your hygienist in order to communicate, you’ve got issues.
# You apologize for missing texts/callsThe second you see a missed call because you were in a meeting or even just taking a quick nap, do you call back and immediately start apologizing and explaining yourself? Honestly, this sounds more desperate than you being nice. Instead, say a quick, “Oh sorry, what did you need?” It makes you much more mysterious and actually makes it seem like you have a life outside of your significant other.
# You initiate most of the conversationsTexting him multiple times a day and chatting about his day seems not only too available but slightly desperate as well. If you’re busy with your own life—as you should be then you shouldn’t have time to text 50 times a day.
# You accept last minute datesIt’s Friday night at 4 PM, and he calls *which you pick up on the first ring, of course,* and asks if you want to do dinner at 6. Even though you already threw in a pizza and had prepared to lie on the couch *in PJs, stuffing your face* you excitedly say, “Of course,” turn off the oven, and head straight to the shower. This is certainly a sign that you’re way too available.
# You let them reschedule last minute
On the other hand, perhaps it’s 6 PM and you’re freshly showered but get a text saying something “came up.” Now you’re left to change BACK into your PJs and try to down a half-cooked pizza.
Yeah, it’s no fun, but you graciously reply back *immediately, we may add*, “No biggie!” and get on with your boring night. Letting your significant other reschedule things at the last minute without fuss doesn’t mean you’re “understanding.”
It means you’re too available and don’t mind the random shift in plans. Let him know his canceled plans are off-putting; you are not a doormat.
# You cancel plans with your friends when they want to do something
Some people are extremely guilty of this one, but it’s inexcusable. When you cancel plans you’ve made with your friends just because your partner wants to do lunch, it’s a sure sign you’re too available. Telling them no every once in a while is okay. In fact, it’s a good thing!
# You don’t make plans with your friends in the hopes that he’ll want to do something Once again, many people are ridiculously guilty of this. If you get invited out on a Saturday night and say no just because you’re thinking your significant other MIGHT be able to do something, then you’re too available in the worst possible way: you’re passively waiting for someone who isn’t necessarily interested.
# Whenever he asks, you tell him you’re not busy—even though you are swamped with work and a new hobbyOr maybe you always tell him you’re not busy so he’ll ask to do something. Although this isn’t actually being too available, you are pretending to be which is just as bad.
# Your friends tell you that you’re too availableListen to those friends, please! Because they’re probably the friends you keep ditching to go hang out with your new special someone. If a friend is telling you that you’re being too available *aka: ditching them or not making plans with them at all* then that’s a surefire sign that you really are too available.