Achieving a happy relationship with someone takes more than just a bit of good luck. It requires daily exercise in healthy relationship practices that help build a strong bond between two people. While couples do many things to keep their relationships happy communicating, for example the things they don’t do might lend more to their happiness as a couple than you may think.
Don’t complain about your relationship to family or friends. Whether your relationship is a little rocky from time to time or is smooth sailing for the most part, don’t discuss it with outsiders. Involving others in your private matters usually results in negative feedback that’s hardly ever helpful. Instead, talk directly to each other to work through the bumps in the road together.
# Don’t compare yourself to others
People who are truly happy accept themselves and others as they are. Comparing yourself or your partner to someone else is unfair and unrealistic. It only leads you to feelings of insecurity about yourself and about your relationship.
# Don’t blame your partner for your problemsUnderstand that it’s you who needs to take responsibility for your own feelings. Don’t blame your partner or wallow in self-pity. Instead, communicate with them and ask for the help you need in rectifying the situation.
# Don’t take yourself too seriously
Life is full of ups and downs. To be truly happy, you mustn’t take everything so seriously. Happy couples enjoy life. They date often and laugh a lot. Even when life gets rough, find ways to keep it light if you can.
# Don’t criticizeNobody likes a nag. Criticizing your partner only creates a rift in the relationship that, over time, can tear it apart. Try not to criticize each other, but instead, look for ways to work through irritating situations with sensitivity.
# Don’t ignore the financial side of your relationshipMoney troubles can stress even the best relationships, so address issues as quickly as possible when they arise. Discuss your financial goals so you can make responsible decisions for a bright future. If money matters are a touchy subject with you, just know that ignoring them can lead to major headaches later on.
# Don’t attempt to read your partner’s mindIn many relationships—especially long-term ones—couples assume they know what their partners want or need. While you may know your partner better than anyone else, never assume you know all the time.
The key to a happy relationship is communication, and you must communicate well in order to know what the other truly needs and wants. Spell your feelings and desires out explicitly so there are no mistakes or disappointments.
# Don’t choose bad timing
There is a right time and a wrong time to share your feelings in order to have your needs met. The wrong time is when your partner is busy or otherwise preoccupied with something else.
When you engage with them during a time like this, chances are that they will not get the importance of what you’re saying, leaving you feeling frustrated and angry. The right time to discuss your feelings is when they aren’t busy. The best way to make sure it’s a good time is simply to ask. “Hey, I’d like to discuss something with you. Is now a good time?”
# Don’t obsess about your role in the relationshipMost people have their “role” in a relationship. Some roles are gender-based: Mowing the grass is usually the man’s job, for instance. However, happy couples take on tasks outside their roles in order to get things done when they need to be done, no matter whose job it is. If your partner is the cook in the relationship, but can’t get dinner on the table because she’s working late, step in and get the job done. Have supper waiting for her when she gets home.
# Don’t be a Negative NellyRather than pressuring your partner to do what you think they need to do, try encouraging them instead. Be the support and motivation they need to achieve bigger and better things, rather than nagging them to do better.