Being in a relationship or finding your forever partner is not the be-all and end-all of life. But your life can become a sordid mess if you’re actively trying to find love without success. When love remains elusive, it can leave you overwhelmed with a sense of inadequacy and dent your sense of self-worth too.
The first order of business is to consciously avoid falling into that trap. We need to understand that the number of potential partners is more than you can imagine and that one rejection is not the end of the world. Whether you’re figuring out how to find love online or how to go on your very first date, these 11 unrevealed tips on how to find love in your life will help.
# Love yourself to find loveAs they say, you cannot pour from an empty cup. So, the first and the most important secret to finding love is to inculcate copious amounts of self-love. It is the only way to ensure that you don’t allow your choices to be curtailed by your own limiting beliefs. Or settle for less than you deserve.
If your relationship with yourself isn’t good, you’ll attract someone who’s not too favorable. You’ll attract a dysfunctional relationship and you’ll experience complications in the future.
# Don’t leave love to fateThe love of your life knocking on your door on a lazy summer afternoon and ushering in a whirlwind romance that sweeps you off your feet happens only in The Bridges of Madison County. Real life is far removed from such fairy tale fiction.
If you really want to find the right match, you need to look at the right places. If you’re the type who is on a spiritual path and is big on meditation, please go and try to find your partner in similar environments like meditation retreats or groups. You can’t hope to find them in clubs and pubs.
# Know what you wantBefore you start seeking an answer to how to find love, figure out what love means to you. Are you looking for a passionate romance the thought of which will leave you weak in the knees years from now? Do you want a partner for life? Be honest about what you want because your pursuit to find love will differ depending on your goals.
There’s nothing wrong with having strong values or a certain ‘type’, you just need to know what they are. Even if you’re very flexible or open-minded, it’s important to know that so you don’t end up with someone rigid. You need to know where you want to set the boundaries and what you’re open to.
# Be ready to investIf you’re looking to meet the love of your life and build a long-term relationship with them, you have to be prepared to invest. Your time, your emotions and a part of yourself. So, introspect a little to understand if you’re ready for that kind of commitment.
If you’re trying to figure out how to find love again after a breakup, we know that the thought of having to invest all over again may be exhausting. But you need to know that you can’t just desire love because the idea of it seems aspirational to you. You need to understand what you’re signing up for beforehand.
# Focus on self-growthBecoming a well-rounded, balanced person holds the key to how to find love. Start by accepting that you don’t need another person to complete you or bring meaning to your existence. Your partner’s role in your life is to complement you. Someone with whom you can be the best version of yourself. And the same is true for them.
# Know your value as a partnerThis is an extension to the idea of inculcating self-love before you love someone else. That said, these are two underrated yet crucial tips to find love soon. Knowing your value as a potential partner can be difficult, as it is hard to see yourself through someone else’s eyes.
It can become that much harder if you have been in toxic relationships in the past where your partner thrived on deprecating your sense of self. Try, nonetheless. An assessment of your own value can help steer your search toward practically viable partners.
# Ask your friends for helpThe good old-fashioned wingman is still an effective approach to find true love in life. They can help you break the social barriers, introduce you to potential partners. Heck, they can spot red flags and prevent you from making poor choices that you may be blind to. So, if you’re intent on finding love in your life, don’t hesitate in accepting help from your friends.
In fact, there is no reason why you can’t even ask them for it upfront. Even if you’re a part of the dating app culture and you’re trying to unravel how to find love online, you can always ask your friends to help you pick out the best pictures you’ve got. Or you could just borrow their pets for a picture with them. Putting a picture up with a furball never hurts your chances.
# Put away your phoneHave you found yourself wondering why do people always say when you meet the right person you know, except you never do? How do you expect to meet the love of your life with your head buried in your phone at all time?
Do yourself a favor and make it a habit to put away your phone when you’re out and about socializing. That email from work, that Instagram notification, that addictive habit of dating on Tinder can all wait a couple of hours. Practice the art of being present in the moment if you want to keep the hopes of meeting someone interesting alive.
# Set the bar for relationship standardsEvery so often, we’re told to adjust, compromise and settle, so much so that we begin to feel guilty about expecting our partners and relationships to meet up to our standards. Expecting a relationship to live up to your standards is not a bad thing. As long as, you are equipped to meet them too.
While it’s true that any relationship requires adjustments and compromises from both partners, these should not be confused with making peace with unsatisfying relationships. Before you set out to meet the love of your life, gain clarity on how high you want to set the bar for relationship standards.
# How to find love? Try humorIf you’re figuring out how to find love online, this one is a must. Everyone enjoys a hearty laugh. People feel comfortable when the vibe around them is upbeat and light-hearted. That’s why the secret to finding love may lie in honing your humorous side. Positive humor and a witty streak can enhance your appeal manifold. Knowing how to make a girl laugh can make all the difference.
At the same time, you may want to steer clear of sarcasm or dry humor that may make you come across as prudish or insecure even. No one finds that attractive.
# Look for opportunities to connect with like-minded peopleWant to know how to find love? How about starting with small efforts like frequenting places where you’re likely to meet people you have a lot in common with? Let’s say you are passionate about cycling. Join a local cyclists’ club. It will naturally augment your chances of meeting someone like-minded and hitting it off instantly.
It’s a whole lot better than being caught in the rut of left swipes and bad dates.