In marriage, you must prioritize communicating and making the relationship function. Well, you signed the paper, right? At least give it a solid shot. Now, it’s not going to change overnight, but there are things to do immediately if you want to know how to improve your marriage drastically.
Relationships are hard work, they really are. Of course, when married there’s a legal commitment to each other which adds extra pressure. However, all relationships, whether bound by marriage or not, require constant work.
It’s normal for people to think that once married the hard work is over. But in reality, it’s just begun. Again, this doesn’t mean your marriage should feel like work.
# Make sure to fall asleep togetherGoing to bed together is extremely important. This is usually the time when you talk about your day or what you’ll be doing tomorrow.
This doesn’t mean you need to have sex. Of course, if you want to, then have sex. The point is, going to bed together makes you feel connected to your partner.
# Go phone-free
Now, this doesn’t mean you need to ditch your phone altogether but spend some time of your day without your phone.
Watch a movie with your partner, cook dinner, cuddle, have sex. Whatever it is you want to do together, do it without your phones. This is your time with your partner, your time to spend however you wish without any distractions.
# Be affectionatePeople get lazy when married. They stop showing affection, stop doing the little things that create connection, and make the person feel loved.
If you want to know how to improve your marriage, start by making a more conscious effort in this department. Kiss your partner good morning, hold their hand while walking, surprise them with ice cream or Chinese food. The little things matter.
# Communicate your emotionsCommunicate how you feel to your partner. If they did something you didn’t like, tell them.
Don’t wait for a couple of weeks to go by because we all know what will happen. By then, you collected a list of things that bother you. You’re going to unleash them on your partner. This isn’t fair. If you have an issue talk it out immediately.
# Say you’re sorryThis is a hard one for many people. But listen, if you f*cked up, you f*cked up. Just admit it, say you’re sorry, and move on.
No one wants to admit they’re wrong, but you’re a grown adult, so it’s time you grew up and took responsibility for your actions. Being right isn’t important, your relationship is what’s important.
# Have sexYou’ll be surprised at how sex solves a lot of issues in marriage. Many couples have their sex life drastically reduced after they get married.
Don’t wait for your partner to make a move. Take the initiative and surprise them with a quickie or a passionate kiss. Sex is extremely therapeutic for couples, it’s something intimate and rebuilds the connection.
# Know each other’s schedulesThis may sound a bit hectic, but it’s important if you want to know how to improve your marriage and feel closer. You may not see the importance but bear with us. You and your partner need to stay on the same page.
Plus, if your partner doesn’t care what you do during your day, that’s a problem. You want them to be interested in your day and vice versa. It shows that you care about each other.
# Communicate as partnersNot business partners. Remember,
now with texting and emails, it’s easy to send a text to your partner
which sounds more like a business request. You don’t want that.
Yes, communicate with your partner but do it in a loving way. Add a couple of cute emojis at the end or flirt with them.
# Add some spiceThis
doesn’t mean you change your hair or tie your arms to the bedposts—of
course, you can. But you can also spice things up just by wearing a new
piece of lingerie or sending them a naughty text/photo.
It’s
normal for relationships to plateau when you’ve been together for a long
period of time. This means you need to work to bring back the flame.
# Make a date nightYou
and your partner need time to hang out together. Now, you can stay in
and watch a new movie or try something out of the house.
Go to a
play, try ice skating or a new restaurant. The point is, if you want to
learn to improve your marriage, you need to do something that’s new for
both you and your partner. These date nights will rekindle the
connection.
# Write about your fightsIf you fight
with your partner, write about it. This helps you gain perspective on
what happened and helps you understand your partner.
You’ll see
things that you couldn’t see in the heat of the moment. Keep this
writing for yourself and use it for your own self-awareness and
self-development.