A lot of relationships fail. Most of them do. And that’s not such a terrible thing if both of you are incompatible and not meant to be. So, how do you know if you’re losing interest in a relationship?
At the risk of sounding jaded, you need to understand that sometimes when relationships end, it’s for the best. And as much as it hurts, you’ve got to take away the life lessons and move on.
Sometimes things end because you’re just fighting all the time. When this happens, it’s obvious that it’s time to quit. But in a lot of relationships, it just starts to feel old, and things start getting boring. Everything starts to feel like a routine, and you don’t feel like the relationship is going anywhere.
But even this feeling of staleness, of losing interest, can be misleading. It could be due to external factors, or it may just mean that you need a jolt of excitement, of trying new things and getting out of the rut. But it could also mean it’s time to cut your losses and move on.
# Feeling of obligation
Spending time together in a normal relationship should not feel like a chore. If you have a slight feeling of dread before meeting up with your significant other, that does not bode well for you two.
Also, if you feel exhausted or just mentally drained after a day spent together, it’s time to move on. Spending casual time together should never feel like an obligation or a burden.
# Stuck on the sofaIf you have plans to meet, and you just can’t seem to motivate yourself to go, it’s time to question why you’re still in the relationship. Often you’ll just be glued to the TV, or browsing your Facebook timeline for the fifth time.
You’re not even enjoying yourself, you’re just putting off walking out the door. This could be a sign of depression, but if you’re feeling okay otherwise and this feeling is specifically associated with your partner only, then it’s a clear loss of interest in the relationship.
# The company of othersYour girlfriend or boyfriend doesn’t have to be the first person you want to spend time with on any given day or night, but if you find that they’re rarely or never your top choice, you should start to ask yourself why that is.
It’s great hanging out with your friends, and you don’t always have to invite your significant other along. But if you never want to, there’s probably no future for the relationship.
# Constant bother
You know when you’re just having a bad day and little things that shouldn’t be a big deal just annoy the heck out of you? Well, one of the signs that you’re losing interest in your relationship is that your significant other increasingly makes you feel this way.
It’s even likely that things that he or she used to do all the time that you found cute or endearing, are now the cause of your annoyance. There’s probably no way back from this point if that’s how you feel. Time for a breakup.
# Picking fightsFighting is not always a bad thing, as it can help to strengthen relationships if you can communicate well and avoid pettiness. But constant arguments are a bad sign, and if you’re the one starting most of them, it’s probably for a deeper reason than the small things that started each fight.
It may not even be a conscious thing. You might not realize that you’re doing it because you want out of the relationship. That’s a bad situation, and unfair to your partner. If the fights are getting worse and more frequent, it’s time to think about calling it quits.
# Intimacy lostHugs and kisses are one of the first casualties when someone starts losing interest in their relationship. The small, intimate things that were always there at the start just don’t happen as much anymore.
It could be the goodnight kiss, the hand-holding, or the hug when you see each other after a long day at work. If you’re getting bored of the relationship, the absence of these things is a big giveaway.
# Bedroom bore
This one seems pretty obvious, and loss of interest in the bedroom is often a sign that you’re losing interest in the relationship.
But people’s sex drives can go up or down for a number of reasons, from health to external stress, so this is one to be careful with.
Oftentimes, it’s just when it becomes too routine that you don’t want sex as much as you used to. Try changing things up in the bedroom. Bring in role-play, or dirty talk, explore your fantasies and kinks. If none of this works, then it may be a larger problem with the relationship itself.
# Eyes for others
A very common sign of a tired and stale relationship is wandering eyes – when you start looking at other men or women or fantasizing about a co-worker.
These aren’t necessarily bad things to do, but when it becomes constant, and you stop thinking of your significant other in a sexual light, then it’s time for some self-examination.
You don’t have to only have eyes for your partner, but you should at least have them.
# Non-disclosure
At the start of a relationship, you start confiding a lot in your significant other. This doesn’t necessarily have to be your deep, dark secrets.
It may just be a problem you had with your boss or an argument with a family member. It could even be a funny story a co-worker told or just about your day in general. When you stop sharing these seemingly mundane yet crucial things, it could be because you’re losing interest in the relationship and don’t feel like putting in the effort anymore.
# A boreSometimes there comes a point in the relationship where you just feel, well, bored. It’s important to differentiate between boredom in the relationship and general boredom in your life. Think hard about it: if you were to break up, would you start feeling more or less bored?
You may just need to work together with your partner to find ways to break out of your routines.
Try new things, go new places, and spice up your sex life. But if you feel like a breakup would cure the boredom, well then that’s what you should do.
# Not missing them
When we love someone, we like being around them. We can’t wait to see them again when we’re not with them. But if you find that you’re not missing them when they aren’t with you, then that is a bad sign.
But when you’re losing interest in the relationship, there is no excitement when you think about doing things with them. Instead, you’re perfectly fine being by yourself or with other people.
# Forget what they told youMaybe they told you that their sister’s wedding is next month. And maybe they told you about it ten times. But for some reason, you just can’t remember that.
The reason is that it’s not important to you. Your brain isn’t plugging into the details of what they tell you – whether it’s a wedding or simply a story about what happened at work that day.