To begin to understand why an emotional affair is wrong, or why it even happens, we need to understand what it means to be in an emotional affair.
An emotional affair is a “relationship” you share with someone where you’re emotionally connected to them way more than you’re emotionally connected to your own partner. What is an emotional affair, and what are the signs of an emotional affair? Well, it isn’t cheating in the classic sense, but it is a problem, and looking out for these signs can help you get back to your relationship before you have a real problem.
These days, as close as two lovers may be, they can’t always be by each other’s side all the time. Other than the weekends, most lovers spend a big part of their day away from each other. That leaves many of us with unfulfilled needs.
And as humans, we have a need to feel loved and appreciated wherever we are. That can mean we look for that fulfillment at work or school. The good times you share with your friends and colleagues may be one of the biggest reasons why you enjoy your workplace.
# Your behavior
You’re generally very friendly and touchy with this friend of yours. But subconsciously, both of you keep some distance from each other when your lover is around.
There’s more awkwardness and formality in your conversations when your lover’s by your side. Why? If you don’t have anything to hide, why would your behavior change?
# ExcitementA big sign of an emotional affair is the excitement of sharing new thoughts or ideas with this friend, be it your review of a movie you just watched or gossip about another coworker or classmate.
If anything interesting happens in your life, be it an interesting photo you took or something new you tried, they’re the first person you want to share the news with. Not your partner, but them.
# You need to stay in touchDo you ever feel incomplete or like something’s missing when you don’t speak to your friend or text them for a day or two?
Even when you’re on vacation, do your thoughts drift and leave you wondering what your friend is up to *or worse, you wish they were around!*? We all think of our loved ones when they aren’t around, but if thinking of them is distracting you, it could signify an emotional affair.
# You share your secretsDo you share your innermost secrets with this friend? You may be sharing secrets that even your partner doesn’t know about. And the weird thing, it makes you feel good to share such intimate details with your friend.
At times, the idea of sharing a new secret may even excite you or make you feel more connected to each other. This is not a good sign if you are confiding in this person, maybe even about your partner.
# You want their attention
You get annoyed if you call your friend up late one night and realize they’re busy on another call with someone else. Maybe you find yourself feeling jealous if they date someone else or speak highly about someone else to you.
You’re not dating each other, but both of you like getting each other’s attention.
# It’s an addiction
You’re addicted to this friend. Both of you feel really happy to meet each other after a long weekend. And you feel like you’ve missed out on a good time if you don’t get to spend some time talking to this friend.
If you miss this person more than you miss your partner when you’re not together, that’s a sign your friendship is bordering on the edge of an emotional affair.
# You’re easily arousedDo you get easily aroused when you’re having a conversation about sex with this friend?
If you feel good talking about your own intimate sexual details with your friend and it somehow arouses you, there’s clearly an emotional affair in the making already. And chances are, it will lead to something more as well.
# Sexual tensionThere’s a lot of sexual tension in the air. Even when both of you sit close to each other, you can clearly sense every part of your body that is touching.
We all find people attractive, but when that goes beyond and makes you question or doubt your relationship, it could be a sign of an emotional affair and more.
# You flirt naturallyBoth of you don’t always realize it, but there’s a lot of flirty conversations when both of you share a moment, and there’s no one around. Other people around you may even comment on how in sync or cozy you seem. People could even mistake you for a couple.
# You want to make an impressionIf you always find yourself dressing up better when you meet this friend, it is a sign of something.
You may not consciously see this an a sign of an emotional affair in the making, but you always try to look your best when spending time with your friend. Do you touch up your makeup or spray an extra spritz of cologne?
# ComplimentsIf you’re showing signs of an emotional affair with a friend, big chances are you take their compliments pretty seriously.
If your friend tells you that you look prettier with your hair styled a particular way or that red looks beautiful on you, it just makes your day. And you follow up by wearing your hair that way or doing what they suggest more often.
# You’ve found your secret soulmateThis friend of yours understands you better than anyone else in the whole world. And you respect your friend’s advice more than you care about your own partner’s.
This is usually a temporary fluke because something in your relationship isn’t quite right. But feeling like this is a major sign of an emotional affair.