15 Golden Rules To Know How To Hurt People Feelings

It seems like everyone is walking around on egg shells these days. In my day, we didn't get so butt hurt about every little thing. But, understanding how not to hurt people’s feelings is not as easy anymore.

The key to not stepping on someone's emotions is to know what makes them tick, know when you take things too far, and to go by the Thumper rule, if you can’t say anything nice don’t say anything at all.

There are things to decrease the likelihood that you unwittingly make someone feel bad. Some people find a way to take any and everything personally, so you can’t walk around worried all the time. There is always going to be someone offended by something.

# Don’t point out what makes them different unless it makes them exceptional

No one likes to be different unless those differences make them feel special or exceptional. If you notice something unusual about someone, don’t point it out unless it makes them feel good or they will end up getting hurt.

# Always try to use a filter, think before you speak

Some of us have an easier time self-monitoring than others. If you are a “shoot first, ask questions later” type of conversationalist, think twice before you say things and consider who is within ear shot.

There are a lot of sensitive people in this world and what might seem like a joke to you, may be offensive and hurt someone’s feelings. Put a filter on it when with people you don’t know well or are sensitive.

# Think “would I want someone to say that to me” before you say something

If you think about whether what you say is something that might potentially offend you, then you decrease the likelihood that you unwittingly hurt someone’s feelings. Close to a filter on your words, try a little empathy before you speak.

# Watch what you do on social media

You don’t have to say something directly to someone’s face to hurt their feelings. When you post on social media, don’t just think about the select three of your hundreds of followers that will think it’s funny.

Consider that whatever you post will be seen by everyone you connect with. Social media is an excellent way to hurt several people at once without even thinking. If you have a personal joke, keep it personal with the people who will think it is a joke only.

# Add emojis when things are questionable

If you know that what you have to say has the potential to be read wrong, then preface it or follow it with an emoji.

When someone reads a message, they read it from their own frame of mind, with their own hang ups or emotions attached. If you want to make sure you aren’t misunderstood and that your tone of friendliness comes through, include an emoji to head up any confusion.

# Constructive criticism is sometimes just criticism

Don’t think that it is your job to correct everyone that you see doing something you think is wrong. If you have things to criticize, don’t offer them unless asked for *unless that is part of your job description*.

Even if it is part of your job, don’t criticize people by putting them down. Rather point out all the good things first and then try to explain to them how they can “make it better.” Saying things like “your writing sucks” isn’t constructive, it is just nasty.

# Don’t be Captain Obvious

If someone screwed up or already feels bad about something, don’t further hurt them by rubbing salt into their wound. If someone confides in you about a problem they experience, something stupid they did, or the trouble they are in, help by listening, not by repeating all their mistakes. They already know. Hence, why they came to you.

# Don’t exclude people

Remember when in grammar school and everyone got invited to Susie’s party but you? Being excluded doesn’t hurt any less as you mature. When possible, try to include people rather than exclude them. Instead of thinking someone can’t or won’t come, invite them anyway and let the onus be on them. It is much better to say no than find out you were never invited.

# Nicknames aren’t always cool, even if someone pretends they are

Yep, not every guy likes to be called “dickweed,” but they probably aren’t going to tell you because it makes them a pussy or uncool.

# If you know that something is sentimental, make it off limits

If you know they wear a shitty piece of jewelry because their dead mother passed it down, don’t dare say a word. If something means something to a person, don’t squash it by putting it down or tainting it with your negative opinion.

# Don’t cut down their family members, even if they do, it isn’t an invitation to join in

Yep, there is an unwritten reality. I can call my sister a slut, but when you do it, it is offensive. People vent about their families, but that isn’t an invitation for you to join in. Stay neutral and on their side, but don’t cross the line.

# If they think their outfit is cool, it isn’t up to you to break it to them

Not everyone looks like a fashion model. If you know someone put a lot of thought and effort into dressing appropriately, just let them have it instead of hurting them by stealing their thunder.

# Don’t talk about plans in front of someone who isn’t invited

If you want to hurt someone’s feelings, talk about the great night or vacation you planned together in front of someone who isn’t invited or can’t come along. We all realistically know that we can’t be invited or included in everything, but rubbing it in just sucks.

# White lies are sometimes necessary

Do these jeans make me look fat? The answer is no. Yep, white lies are sometimes necessary when it comes to knowing how not to hurt other people’s feelings. Why tell someone the truth if they feel good about themselves and no one gets hurt. Just let them feel good.

# Life isn’t kindergarten recess

Don’t call anyone names. Golden rule. Learn it, live it. Don’t be a bully.