Building a strong relationship requires a lot of hard work and never-ending effort from both ends. Here are the 15 necessary steps for creating a healthy relationship.Nothing good in life comes easy. Happy and healthy relationships are no different; they require a lot of constant work from both sides.
* They Know It’s Not EasyPeople always ask me how I manage to be in a healthy and happy relationship for so long and still keep nurturing every day. It’s not like my relationship is a walk in the park, it’s not always sunshine and rainbows, it’s not always hugs and kisses. My girlfriend and I go through our fair share of ups and downs, the thing that makes our relationship strong is the fact that we have more ups and we try every day to make sure there are no downs.
* They Don’t Ignore The Tough TimesHealthy relationships have a lot of ups and downs. The reason for that relationship to be so strong is the will of both people and how they tackle their problems rather than ignoring them. Nothing good in life comes easy; neither does a happy relationship. It takes a lot of effort from both sides to make sure everything is perfect. The people who ignore you in your tough times and still have the guts to tell you they love you should immediately be kicked out of your life.
* They Don’t Allow Fear To Take ControlGoing into a relationship with someone can be scary. Giving someone all of your trust, expecting a lot from them, depending on them in times of need, all of your weaknesses being exposed to them, it can get overwhelming sometimes. But healthy relationships are those in which two people know their fears, and still choose to trust each other, give each other their all and still want to see how it goes. As I said, nothing in life comes easy.
* They Don’t Keep Secrets From Each OtherThis one is obvious, but you’d be amazed at how overlooked this point is. Strong and healthy relationships don’t have secrets. You can’t expect to lead a happy life with someone if you always have a dark cloud looming over your head, which is the cloud of your secrets, and you’re always worried about it bursting in front of your partner. Let me make one thing very clear; secrets come out eventually, so it’s better to clear everything up and not keep any skeletons in the closet for them to damage your relationship later on.
* They Don’t Fake How They FeelThis is another point that is highly overlooked. Some people think that by faking the way they feel or by nodding their heads, they’d be doing their relationship a solid, well they’re not. Be yourself, be true to yourself and your partner. You might be hesitant; you might be scared, you might be judging yourself more than they’ll ever judge you, take a deep breath, and be real.
* They Don’t Hide Their True SelvesThe key to a happy and healthy relationship is to expose yourself to your partner completely, don’t be scared and let them know everything about yourself. Let them see the “you” that only you see. Don’t let yourself fall prey to an identity crisis by being someone else in front of your partner.
* They Don’t Ask Others To Validate Their PartnersTrue relationships are the ones that involve pure love between two people without anyone else having anything to say about it. If your partner always looks to others to validate you, they’re not for you. You and your partner should be enough to validate each other; no one else should have the power to do that for either of you.
* They Don’t Hold GrudgesThink about it, go ahead and talk to yourself, take your space, take your time, but let go of the grudges. Forgiveness has the highest rewards, and we all make mistakes. Forgive their mistakes and let go of the anger, let go of the grudges and move on with them. Move forward with them. And trust me, don’t even think of revenge. I’ve tried it myself; revenge is one of the most negative things in the world. Just let go and live a peaceful life.
* They Don’t Go Into Replacement RelationshipsOkay, so the two of you may be going through a rough patch. It does not mean that you can go flirt with other people to see how it feels. Strong relationships are the ones where two people love each other even when they want to hate each other. The hardest part of the strongest relationships is the fact that they know for a fact that they NEED to be in each others’ lives, and leaving each other is NOT an option.
* They Don’t LieThis one is also going to make people say “No sh*t, Sherlock,” but this one is the biggest reason for making or breaking a relationship. When trust goes out the window, it can never be rebuilt. I’ve seen people struggle to make it work; they always end up failing. Lying and cheating will only lead to bad things. Be yourself and be the most truthful.
* They Don’t Compare Each Other To Someone ElseComparing your partner to someone else (especially your ex) is the most horrible thing you can do to them. Love them for who they are because they have their individuality. Comparing your partner to someone else only tells them they aren’t good enough for you the way they are. If you’re not happy with them with how they are, you’ll never be happy with anyone. Learn to accept people without finding the constant need to change them.
* They Don’t Take Everything To HeartPeople in good and happy relationships know not to take every little thing to heart. They know not to let themselves be hurt by everything they hear their partners say. A lot of things said in anger can be hurtful, but when people are angry, they don’t take time to think. The key is to be strong enough not to let every little thing make you seem overly sensitive.
* They Don’t Stop Arguments In The MiddleI’ve written about this countless times both on the page and on this website, NEVER stop arguments in the middle. Arguments, if stopped in the middle without being solved, can grow like cancer to hurt you tremendously later on. Sit with each other, open your hearts out, and solve the problems, never think any problem will solve itself with time.
* They Don’t Agree When They Shouldn’tThis just happened with me recently; I had a conflict with my girlfriend about something she was doing. But I still said no. I disagreed. She still went on with what she wanted. But, in the end, she realized why I disagreed and apologized. KNOW when to say NO. Don’t just agree for the heck of it.
* They Don’t Let People Hold Them BackPeople in strong relationships don’t care about what others have to say about them. They love each other and let each other know that. The moment you let yourself be affected by what others are saying, you’ll slowly start losing all the happiness you have in your life. Random people and friends eventually leave; your partner will still try to stick around.