4 Signs You Might Be Dating an Alcoholic

It is not uncommon for people who marry an addict or an alcoholic to look back over their first few dates and, with hindsight, be able to pick out some key indicators there was an addiction problem.

However, during the initial stages of dating, especially when the relationship is in the intense infatuation phase, it can be easy to willfully, or not, overlook or rationalize the very behaviors that could eventually lead to the breakup of the relationship or the marriage. Dating an alcoholic can be a tricky reality to spot, and accept.

For many people who have limited experience with alcoholism and addiction, the subtle signs of dating an alcoholic can be difficult to see. This is made even more problematic if the addict is considered to be high functioning, meaning she or he is able to maintain a job, go to school, and have relationships without manifesting the full-blown signs of addiction or alcoholism.

# Physical changes

People with addiction problems have physical or physiological changes that can be identified as part of a pattern. This can include unexpected fatigue, sweating, headaches, nausea, red eyes, signs of a “cold” that seem to occur on a regular basis, lack of appetite, or changes in appetite. People also tend to have less interest in their physical appearance when using or recovering after a binge.

# Emotional changes

During both the high and the aftermath of the use of alcohol and drugs, emotional and mood changes are common. This can include irritability, anxiety, emotional outbursts, anger, blame, defensiveness, and denial, or unwillingness to discuss concerns or to talk about the issue.

# Blows hot and cold

It is not uncommon for addicts to have times when they focus their attention on their partner, and then times when they focus on the addictive behavior. This can result in a hot and cold type of relationship, often include periods when the addict is out of contact and offers excuses or refuses to talk about the absence.

# Leading a double life

Addicts may drink or use drugs on their own, but they may also have a separate group of people they use with. Typically, the addict is very careful to keep their partner away from this group, so they often lead a double life in a very real sense of the word.