Manipulation often feels like being pressured or forced to behave a certain way. But sometimes it can be difficult to pinpoint if someone is using manipulation tactics against you. Do you feel controlled by your partner? Maybe they make you feel anxious or second guess your decisions?
These could be red flags that you’re in a relationship with a manipulator. Being in this kind of relationship is dangerous and toxic. To understand if you’re in a relationship with a manipulator look out for the following behaviors.
# They always play the victim Despite causing the trouble themselves, a manipulator often creates a scenario where they’re the victim. They play on your concern for their well-being so that you feel bad or behave in a way that you may not want to.
Have you noticed that they make you feel guilty for wanting some alone time? Or maybe they constantly justify unfair actions by blaming it on an insecurity or past relationship?
# They constantly pick on youOne of the easiest manipulation tactics to spot is bullying. Bullies use fear or aggression to make someone else behave or feel a certain way. It doesn’t always have to be aggressive, sometimes it’s passive harassment that can hurt the most. Maybe your partner criticizes your work or decisions? Or do they make fun of you in front of your friends?
Bullying is never acceptable. And it can be extra painful when it comes from someone you love. Your partner should accept you for who you are.
# They take advantage of your insecurities Manipulators often find out about your insecurities and then exploit them to their advantage. This can be particularly hurtful when you have a past that makes you feel vulnerable. They could behave in a certain way that they know triggers or upsets you. Or else make you believe that you can’t survive without them, by acting like you need them for protection.
We have highs and lows in life, and getting over difficult times should be something we are proud of, not made to feel bad for. If your partner is making you feel otherwise or taking advantage of you in a vulnerable state, they aren’t caring for you.
# They use manipulation tactics to pressure youManipulators often put people under high pressure so that they can control a situation. They use guilt, fear and even embarrassment to lock you into their control. This can make you feel helpless.
If you feel pressured by your partner to do things you feel uncomfortable with or are scared of how they would react in some situations, this is not a good sign. Relationships are about compromise and understanding. Under no circumstances should your partner make you feel like you are anything but in control of your own life.