As you can see, acceptance of a breakup cannot be achieved until you stop feeling sorry for yourself. However, getting to this point and to truly overcome a breakup quickly is easier said than done. Often people find themselves trapped in a never-ending loop of self-pity, loneliness, longing, anger and pain after a breakup. In turn, moving on and turning over a new leaf can become unrealistic prospects.
That’s why learning to identify signs you are feeling sorry for yourself and weeding them out becomes a prerequisite to healing a broken heart. “Breakups can be messy and make you feel as if your life has turned upside down. It is very difficult to deal with such situations. When the one who was the closest to you breaks your heart, it’s natural to feel inadequate and worthless.
# Be kind to yourself to overcome breakupThis is easy to say, hard to practice, especially when the breakup is still new and the wounds fresh. That’s why you must make a conscious effort to be kind and compassionate to yourself. Once you stop blaming yourself for what happened, that’s when your new life really starts.
It works as the perfect antidote to wallowing in self-pity. The key is to start small. You may lose interest in things around you or find yourself unable to eat. It is in moments like these that you have to remind yourself that the breakup is not the end of your life.
# Forget and forgiveHave patience. Forgiveness in relationship is important, but forgiveness after relationships is also equally necessary. Try forgetting and forgiving your ex for what happened. When you forgive someone, you are setting yourself free and making them incapable to continue hurting you anymore.
Patricia, who dumped her boyfriend after she caught him cheating on her, agrees. “For over a year, I was wallowing in self-pity. My mind fixated on the ‘why did this happen to me?’ question. I felt bouts of anger toward my ex and obsessed over how he had wronged me.
# Focus on the positive to stop feeling bad after a breakupYour ‘I feel sorry for myself’ pangs will only disappear when you readjust your lens and think about the good things. As they say, every dark cloud has a silver lining. Even if it doesn’t feel that way where you’re neck-deep in emotions of self-pity. To be able to stop feeling sorry for yourself, you must shift your focus and think about what is most important.
Concentrate on the positives of the breakup. Perhaps, you were not good for each other. Maybe the relationship was unhealthy. Or there were underlying issues and relationship problems that would have eventually taken a toll on your bond. Perhaps it was just bound to happen and it is better that you cut it off now rather than prolonging it and feeling even more hurt later on.
# Pamper yourself to delete those breakup thoughts To heal yourself after a breakup you must try doing things that bring you joy. It can be a shopping outing, reading books, spending time with your loved ones, engaging in hobbies and passions. To make me stop feeling bad after a breakup, they thought this was the only route. It was a little weird and sad in the beginning but I eventually found myself having a good time. The trip did me a lot of good, and at least, got me started on the path to healing after a breakup.
# Take a break from social media
Social media and breakups don’t mix well, trust us on that. The pictures of happy couples on your timeline can hit like a sharp jab, augmenting your feelings of loneliness and longing. Then, there is the compelling urge to stalk your ex on social media to keep track of what they’ve been up to. Yep, we all do it! So no point denying it to us to and yourself.
Your sad breakup thoughts only amplify when you see them living and you’re no more part of that life. And the worst of it all is spotting a new ‘someone special’ in their stories or posts can be soul-crushing. Likewise, if you see that they seem to be unfazed by the breakup, it can enhance that gloomy state of feeling sorry for yourself.