Making eye contact with a girl, whether it is someone you know or a random person at a bar, can be an interesting experience. If it’s done correctly, eye contact can accentuate a nice conversation, and add a little bit of connection into your discussion. And if it is done incorrectly, it can creep the girl out and make her think that you are being too intense.
Finding the right balance of appropriate eye contact is a skill that can help you in your quest to win over that special lady. It can add to your talent of talking to and charming women. But it can be a bit of a complicated thing.
# Read her body language. A woman often gives clues about how she is feeling with her body language. If you can learn to read these clues, it can help you to effectively talk to her, and to tell exactly how much eye contact she would like. Here are some body language clues to pay attention to.
# She maintains eye contactThis is one of the best signs to pay attention to. If the woman is giving you strong eye contact, it generally means she is comfortable communicating with you, and you can most likely give her strong eye contact in return without creeping her out.
– She’s smiling. This is another positive body language sign. If the woman is frequently smiling, there is a good chance that she feels comfortable, and that you are not making her feel awkward. In this situation, it is also probably safe to increase your eye contact without making her feel like you are being too intense.
– She’s playing with her hair. Playing with her hair or tucking it behind her ear can be further signs that things are going well enough that she’s slightly flirting with you. Whatever else you’re doing, keep it up!
– She’s not looking away from you. If you are trying to maintain eye contact, but she is constantly looking around the room, it could mean that she is uncomfortable. In this situation, it might be a good idea to make less eye contact, or to take a slight step back if you are too close to her, you want her to feel comfortable. That is where everything else stems from.
– She’s facing you. If you notice that the girl you are talking to is slightly pivoting her shoulders or her feet away so that she isn’t facing you, this can be a sign that she feels you are being too intense. In this situation, it may be wise to make less eye contact.
# Make her laughBeing creeped out by eye contact is a sign that the woman just doesn’t feel relaxed. If she is being creeped out by eye contact, she is probably feeling awkward, tense or nervous. So, in this situation, if you can tell a joke that makes her laugh or smile, it might help to break the ice, and help her to relax. If you can get her to relax, then there is a good chance that she will be more comfortable with increasing levels of eye contact.
# Don’t invade her personal space
Comfort with eye contact is a reflection of her comfort with you in general. If you are making her feel uncomfortable in other ways, then there is a good chance she won’t want more eye contact. You might not realize it, but if you are invading her personal space by standing too close, this could be making her uncomfortable.
You could also be making her feel uncomfortable by asking questions that are too personal or discussing topics that are too heated, such as tense political events or even religion. You never know, she may have the complete opposite view from you on these matters, and discussing them may be a mood crusher for her.
# Easy does it
If you are talking to a girl whom you are really attracted to at a bar, you may be tempted to just gaze into her eyes, and try to get her to gaze back into yours, so you can feel connected to her. Unfortunately, this is definitely likely to creep her out. You want to start slow, and work your way up to more and more eye contact as the conversation builds. Women are often very emotionally in tune, and if you don’t play your cards right, they are likely going to feel it.
So although you may feel like rushing into an intense conversation with a lot of strong eye contact, the woman may feel a lot better being eased into it. If you are getting other positive signs from her, then there is a good chance that she wants to talk to you. You just have to make sure that you don’t push her away by being too intense with your eye contact.
# Buy her a drink
Buying a girl a drink can be a great way to break the ice and let her know that you are interested in her. Occasionally, if a girl is acting nervous when you give her eye contact, it may be because she is interested in you, but she can’t tell if you are interested in her.
But if you buy her a drink, it sends a pretty clear message that you are interested. It’s a good way to make her feel valued and special. If she feels that way, then there is a great chance that she will feel more comfortable, and thus be open to more eye contact.