When it comes to healthy relationships, physical intimacy issues are just the tip of the iceberg. The issues run deeper than what we see on the surface. From less snuggling, hugging, and kissing to less frequent (or nonexistent) sex, physical and emotional issues often go hand in hand.
Barring medical issues, of course, the prevalence of physical intimacy is often related to the health of the relationship. Intimacy is a lot more than just sex, touching, kissing or holding hands.
# Depression, anxiety or other mental illnessMedical issues can cause intimacy issues. If left untreated, depression and anxiety can rob you and your relationship of connection. These issues should be addressed with a medical professional to review what treatments are right for you and your situation.
Communication with your partner through it all is key. Although it may be difficult to feel you can regain the intimacy you once had when you’re feeling as if all is lost, maintaining good communication throughout treatment ensures everyone knows what’s going on and helps keep your relationship strong.
# Sharing your bedWhether it’s the kids or your pets, sharing your bed can cause intimacy issues in your relationship. It’s difficult to maintain a healthy sex life when you and your partner don’t have a private space to call your own. There’s nothing wrong with allowing your children to share your bed on occasion, but try not to make it a habit.
# Different sexual styles
Sexual needs and desires can change over time and that’s okay. But we need to talk to our partners when there’s something new we want or something we no longer desire. If our sexual needs are changing or we find ourselves feeling a lack of desire, this is a great time to have a conversation about it.
Keeping your partner in the dark about what we’re thinking and feeling can lead to intimacy issues. If you’re afraid to speak up, that’s a sure sign you really need to. There’s nothing wrong with feeling shy or even a little scared about expressing yourself. Society has done a number on us all when it comes to talking about sex, but the best way to get past it is to go through it. You and your partner deserve better and talking about what’s going on builds stronger relationships in the long run.
# Withholding sexThis is a toxic tactic that creates a warped view of what should always be a loving act. Some couples use sex as a treat or reward and this is not okay. There’s an underlying issue involved that needs to be resolved by communicating.
# The infidelity breakdown
Unfortunately, cheating happens, and when it does, it can cause serious intimacy issues. But it’s not an indicator that a relationship is over. Through communication and trust building activities, you can turn your relationship around and become intimate again. It takes time and a lot of talking, and you’ve got to know it’s worth it for you!