There’s been a lot of conversation in the media recently – and controversy and back-and-forth concerning spanking. But spanking is NOT what we’re talking about today. What this post is concerned with is violence in our homes and, specifically, 5 steps to end family violence.As a former teacher in exceptional education working with children who presented a variety of behavior disorders, I received a lot of training in crisis intervention specifically nonviolent crisis intervention.
What we observed in the schools also played out in my students’ homes. There was a direct correlation between frustration, inconsistency, lack of behavior management skills, exhaustion, stress, and the onset of violence. This was true both with students and teachers, parents and children, and also holds true with parents in regards to each other.
* Cultivate attitudes and behaviors that are incompatible with violenceDevelop and practice a vocabulary of grace using words of respect and encouragement. The Apostle Paul said the following advice: “The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.”
* If there is a history of violence in your home, initiate family counseling immediatelyViolence is serious. It’s abusive, it’s a marriage killer, and it hurts children for life. You need to understand the patterns that lead to violence, and this usually requires professional guidance.
* Identify factors that tend to escalate tense situationsObserve yourself, take notes, and pay attention. If you find that you are more prone to lose control when you are already angry, tired, paying bills, or watching football, walk away.
* Never step into the personal space of a family member who is out of control emotionallyPosture, personal space, backing someone into a corner and not leaving them an exit, putting your index finger in your teenage son’s chest. All these behaviors are clinically proven to provoke a violent response.