When you’re in love with another man, it’s easy to make irrational decisions. You feel like this new guy gives you everything you could possibly want and need – and this is how you know you’re in trouble.
You’re content and comfortable with your long-term partner and then BAM! You meet someone so funny and witty that you are convinced he’s your soulmate.
You’re stuck in the hardest decision you have to make. You know that liking this new guy is like playing with fire, but you just can’t deny yourself this once-in-a-lifetime pleasure. This new guy is drop-dead gorgeous, but you also don’t want to make the mistake of leaving your boyfriend.
There are so many factors you should consider before even letting yourself fall for another man. For all you know, it could just be lust or infatuation. Making the wrong decision could backfire in your dating life and you’d end up with choices you need to live with. To put it simply, you’re in a messy situation.
If you choose your boyfriend, you’d never stop thinking about the what-ifs. If you leave your boyfriend for another man, you could be doing it for all the wrong reasons.
# What do you like about your relationship?In contrast to the questions above, you also need to ask yourself what aspects of your current relationship make you happy. Is it the way they laugh, the way they make you feel loved consistently, or maybe how caring they are?
List down the positive things, because these are the things you might lose if you choose to pursue the new man. Are you really willing to risk all the good parts just for the possibility of pleasure and feeling the sparks again?
Remind yourself of everything you’re guaranteed to lose if you choose the new guy.
# What do you want improved in your relationship?In thinking you’re in love with another man, you need to also list everything that’s lacking.
Are they things that can be fixed through a good talk or is the damage too much? Did your partner cheat on you? Do you not trust him? Are they bad for your mental health? Do you lack chemistry and compatibility?
Ask yourself what you want in your current relationship and if they’re things your new man has. Does the good outweigh the bad with the new guy, or are you just blinded with desire and pleasure? After all, just like a new toy, everything feels good and shiny when it’s new.
# Are there going to be other people affected?If you have kids, you must not jump into a new relationship on a whim, because this will stress the hell out of them. As frustrating as this is to admit, if you’re going to hurt other people, an uncalculated gamble may not be worth it. There will come a time where you can be selfish with your own needs, but this just isn’t the right time for that.
If the new man you’re interested in proves to be as worthy as he claims, he’ll wait for the right time to be with you. The definition of love is patient and kind, so he must be willing to wait.
Even if you don’t have kids, how can you be sure it won’t affect your whole household? If it does, you may as well have left.
# What made you fall in love with the new guy in the first place?
You need to realize love is a constant decision you make and isn’t just based on a feeling. Otherwise, you won’t last in any relationship. You’ll be tempted to leave every time you feel the lack of love in your body. When we’re in long-term relationships, it is absolutely normal for the lovey-dovey feelings to wane as time passes. Butterflies don’t stay in your stomach forever—as much as you want them to. The honeymoon stage will pass and things will settle in a warm and secure feeling.
If you start to forget why you gave him your heart, maybe it’s time to make yourself remember. Go down memory lane and remember why you said yes with full conviction to being his girlfriend.
Does he still have those traits? What happened? Have you talked to him about the changes?
# Can you live without your current partner forever?
We often enter relationships because we see potential in them, including the potential of a future and a life with them. There used to be a time you couldn’t imagine a life without them, so what happened?Do you really see yourself not regretting it when you choose the new guy instead? Did you ever consider that maybe lust or infatuation is messing with your logic?
Before you fly off with another man, ask yourself at least a hundred times if you can live without your current partner. If the answer is a resounding yes, then by all means, go. You can’t be impulsive and spontaneous with this decision because once you make it, there’s no going back.
He won’t likely take you back if you made the wrong decision, especially if you’re leaving him to be with someone else. If it’s well thought out and you’re 99% sure you don’t want to be with your current partner even if this new guy wasn’t in the picture, that’s all you need.