Before we get into why you might feel tired of your relationship and what to do about it, are you really tired of your relationship?
As mentioned, it is totally normal to go through ruts in your relationship. Maybe you recently moved in together and spend all your time at home watching Netflix. Falling into a more boring routine can cause you to ignore intimacy and other aspects of your relationship that keep the spark and excitement alive.
Or, you might be busy with your job or family stuff and your relationship is being put on the back burner. Without time to care for your relationship, it can make it feel more like work than enjoyment which leads you to feel tired of your relationship.
These things will likely pass, though. As long as you notice the change and take action to focus on your bond and talk about how you can make sure you don’t get tired of each other, breaking out of these ruts doesn’t have to be that hard.
# Do you communicate?
Once you are comfortable together, it is common for what was once open and honest communication to fade. When you no longer share your feelings, you miss out on the feelings you had earlier in your relationship.
When you’ve been together for a while, you expect your partner to know what you want or how you feel without you saying anything, but it isn’t how relationships work. Without that intentional communication, you can easily start to feel tired of your relationship.
You may feel bored or like something is lacking and that you deserve better.
# Are you intimate?
Intimacy is so vital in a relationship. Whether that means sex or just cuddling and holding hands, without it a relationship will feel like a friendship or even less than that.
Whether you’re stressed, busy, or just not in the mood lately, a loss of physical intimacy can lead to you feeling tired of your relationship. You aren’t getting something you need from the relationship, and even if you get along well, it can feel more practical than romantic.
# Do you have repeat arguments? When you are in a comfortable long term relationship, you don’t want to end it no matter what. I have seen a lot of couples have the same arguments repeatedly. This sort of pattern makes both partners resentful and leads you to feel tired of the relationship.
Arguing about the same issue over and over gets you nowhere. It is a dead-end you keep hitting, but instead of breaking it down or trying another direction, you go in circles.
# Are you growing apart? Some couples just grow apart. Maybe at one point, you fell together perfectly. Your lifestyles lined up and you wanted the same things. Well, people change and grow and it isn’t always at the same pace.
When you got together, you may have felt perfectly happy being a homemaker while your partner went to work, but a few years in, you may have discovered a passion for something you want to take on full time. Maybe you’ve discovered your independence or confidence.
When one partner changes and the other doesn’t or isn’t willing to accept those changes, it leads to relationship fatigue. You aren’t bonding together over the changes you are going through, instead, you grow further apart, even if you share a bed every night.
# Are you happy? This is a huge factor in why you may feel tired of your relationship. Something that once brought you immense joy could be adding nothing of benefit to your life or could be making you stressed or upset.
If your relationship isn’t offering you anything that makes you smile, it makes sense that you would be tired of it. When a relationship no longer brings you joy, it exhausts you emotionally and physically.