When your boyfriend starts acting a little distant and weird, it can put you in a total panic mode. What did I do wrong? Is he interested in someone else? Does he not love me anymore? Does he want to breakup?
It’s super easy to get lost in a downward spiral of What If’s, especially if you feel like things have been going pretty well so far. Maybe what you think is happening, really is happening. Maybe it’s not. Maybe it’s just a simple case of him needing his space.
# He cheated or is considering itLet’s start with the worst case scenario. According to love coach Michelle Baxo, sometimes guys get distant and weird because they’ve cheated or are considering it.
“If you suspect this, it’s best to just ask him directly in a mature, confident and calm manner, so he feels safe to tell the truth,” she says. “Don’t assume he’s lying if he denies it. Just find out what is bothering him (e.g. he feel pressures to commit, etc).”
# He senses your expectationsIf you’ve dropped more than enough hints about taking your relationship to the next level but he’s just not there yet, he may start to pull back.
“If a long-term commitment doesn’t feel like it was his idea, but something that was forced on him, then he may begin to retreat,” Baxo says. “Also, men resist commitment when they’re not in the position to be a good provider just yet (e.g. unemployed or dissatisfied with his lack of accomplishments).”
# He’s stressed and doesn’t want to burden you with his problems“When a guy suddenly becomes distant for no apparent reason, it is so easy to get paranoid and jump to the conclusion that he might not be into you anymore,” Celia Schweyer, dating expert at DatingScout.com, tells The Date Mix. “The thing is, he most likely has a problem outside the relationship and he doesn’t want to talk about it yet.”
If this is the case, let him know you’re always there if he needs you and just give him space. When he’s ready, he’ll open up.
# He just needs some alone time“This shouldn’t be a reflection of your relationship,” Schweyer says. “We all crave alone time every now and then.”
If your boyfriend says he needs some time alone, believe him. It doesn’t mean that he doesn’t like spending time with you. Some people, especially introverts, need some time to recharge a bit.
# He’s on cruise control
If things are going great and you reach the one-year mark, he may start to get distant because he’s more secure and comfortable in the relationship.
“He’s kind of on cruise control,” Lisa Concepcion, founder of LoveQuest Coaching, tells The Date Mix. “He’s reached a nice, easy, chill place in the relationship and with himself.”