5 Rules of Separation in Marriage To Make It Successful

Being on the same page with your spouse regarding the ‘severity’ of the marital problem definitely helps in a marriage. In fact, a study points out that the risk of separation or divorce was lower when participants reported that their spouse also considered the problem as serious. What are the other ways to lower the possibility of divorce? Let’s find out.

# Discuss the rules of separation in marriage beforehand

At the onset itself, make everything clear by being very transparent. Leave no room for ambiguity when it comes to the co-parenting rules. Maintain mutual respect while discussing these issues with your spouse:

- Are you going to meet on occasions like children’s annual days, PTA meetings or Christmas celebrations?

- Is it going to be a complete state of embargo, in which you won’t meet until one person is hit by a truck or on deathbed with a terminal disease like cancer?

# Don’t turn it into a game of ‘Chinese Whispers’

Don’t get distracted by other people’s opinions. Your marriage separation checklist is your personal issue, just like going to the bathroom. No one else can tell you when you should take a shower or wash your face.

# Remember what NOT to do

The most important rule of separation in marriage is to make every move with caution. Here is a list of things you should certainly AVOID doing:

- Using your children as pawns/mediators
- Hiding assets from your spouse to gain an unfair advantage
- Contacting your spouse without a mediator
- Threatening your spouse
- Jumping head first into a new relationship
- Badmouthing your spouse
- Publicizing your separation
- Denying your partner time with your kids.

# Take decisions based on your own risk appetite

You can move on at your own pace. Is this your temporary or a permanent retirement from the world of love/romance? It all depends on your own risk appetite. Take a soccer player as a metaphor.

# Seek professional support to know where you stand

The rules of separation in marriage differ from case to case. There is no ‘one size fits all’ solution. But you should take couples therapy to know where you stand and why you are standing there.