5 Signs That Tell You are in a Healthy Relationship

I have often heard it said that the best partner will compliment you and bring out your finer qualities. When you are with him or her, you will begin to see untapped possibilities within yourself and in the world. However, in any relationship, you will face difficulties and your love will be tested. That said, if your expectations are for an effortless relationship, you might be at risk for throwing in the towel at the earliest sign of any discord. Think of how many good relationships have been discarded before they matured, dismissing a life partner while searching for a soul mate.

Well, all couples are different, and all couples will have little, unique things that work for them. That said, there are some common signs of a healthy relationship that make it easy to tell if you and your partner are on the right track. If you are, you'll likely feel it, but there are also benchmarks you can use to figure out how healthy your relationship is.

Honesty

This doesn’t just mean being truthful. It means having honorable intentions. That’s part of being honest. If we are communicating a difficult truth to someone with the intent to hurt them, then we aren’t being honorable, and therefore, we aren’t being honest. Ultimately, we need to be honest with our intentions in addition to being truthful in what we say. So when we communicate truths to our spouse, kids, and anyone else, we have to ask ourselves what our motives are in telling them this. Are my words being used to help them grow or just to hurt them?

Vulnerability

Being vulnerable is scary and can make us feel weak, but vulnerability actually requires strength. In the book Imprints, a friend of the authors went so far as to say, “Only when someone knows all of me can they truly love me.” If we are going to have authentic and loving relationships with a spouse and our children, we need to be vulnerable with them. And if we want our kids to grow up to have healthy relationships, we need to model vulnerability more than anything.

Accountability

We all have blind spots and room to grow. That leaves us with two options. We either can ignore this and remain stagnant or we can receive and act on feedback from others. When we accept that we don’t have it all together and embrace accountability, we take a big step toward becoming the best versions of ourselves. This will lead to fuller healthy relationships.

Intentionality

Whenever I ask someone how things are going, they almost always say one word: busy. We’re all busy and it’s easy to let the busyness of life push us around like a leaf in the breeze. If we are not intentional with those we love the most, we can wake up one day wondering where the years went and why our “loved ones” are so distant. Every day, we have an opportunity to grow closer in our relationships with a spouse and our kids. If we are not intentional, the alternative is to grow apart.

Community

We all need people in our lives outside of our families who will give us support, encouragement, and sometimes an honest word to keep us on track. This is especially true during times of difficulty. Every family goes through some type of trial. Some go through many. We need the support of other families and friends to help us through those times. Where is your community? Your community (or the people you surround yourself with) dictates the type of person you’ll become in the next couple of years. If you have a negative one, find a new one. If you haven’t found one, pray for it. It’s that important.