Have you ever been so sure that you weren’t going to do something and then ended up in the same situation? The chances are that you’ve been manipulated. However, there are chances that someone might have convinced you. You should know the difference between the two because one is healthy and the other is abusive.
So, manipulation is a psychological strategy used to often get another person to act as the manipulator wills. While asking is a better way to go about it, most people know that you won’t say yes if they straight up ask, so some choose to turn to mind games. While we all try to manipulate situations to our favor at one point or the other, doing it at the cost of the other’s discomfort is when it’s abuse. Manipulation can be seen in any relationship, whether it’s with your partner, your parent, your sibling, or even your spouse’s parent.
While most of you out there may have an amazing mother-in-law, some do end up being a monster in law. If she straight up says she doesn't like you, that can be rough, but that is easier to maneuver than the smart, manipulative type. If your mother in law seems to be a sweet cookie on the outside but still somehow manages to make you feel crappy about yourself, here are a few signs that can help you identify if she's manipulative.
# She has to win
If it seems like you're in a constant competition even when you don't intend to be, chances are you've got a manipulative mother-in-law. It can be something as simple as baking a cake; for example, if you bake a cake and bring it over, she says she likes it, but soon after, she starts to hype up her own baking skills and to point out shortcomings in yours; she's being manipulative. While she did shower you with a compliment, she immediately brought you down with passive-aggressive comments about your cooking.
# Your partner acts shady with you around themIf you feel like your partner isn't acting the same around their mother, you need to keep your eyes open. If he's criticizing you about things he didn't care about, chances are someone's saying something when you're not around.
# She manipulates situationsIf you often feel like situations take a 180 turn when she's around far too much for it to be a coincidence, you might be right. It's okay to love and go into a relationship with an open heart, but you also need to make sure you aren't a victim of manipulation. For example, a friend of mine once left her mother in law to look over the turkey while she went out to get something. When she came back, she saw the stove was turned to maximum heat, and the turkey had burnt to crisp. My friend swears that she saw the timer ten times before she left, so guess who was lying?
# Brings up your insecuritiesIf you are dining with your partner's family and it seems as though you're under fire for your insecurities all the time, you need to start coming to terms with the fact that you're being manipulated.
# Conditional approvalIf you think that your mother-in-law only approves of you if you act a certain way, then that my dear is toxic. You are your own person, and everyone should accept you the way that you are. Conditional approval is the hallmark of a manipulative person.