5 Things To Do When Your Ex Contacts You Years Later

Do exes come back after leaving for someone else? They could, and that one little text has the power to turn your life upside down. Maybe you thought you’ve made your peace with whatever happened with your ex. Perhaps you thought you’d completely moved on, but their message reminds you of all the good times that you didn’t even know you had buried away. Before you type out an elaborate text asking for an explanation, pause and think about your life right now.

Your ex is an ex for a reason, and giving them attention when your present life is fulfilling isn’t really worth it. When an ex contacts you years later, you need to focus on why they became your ex in the first place. Pro tip: Keep your mind open and your heart closed. Your heart might start beating faster the moment you get a text from the ex but take a few minutes to think about the consequences if you end up meeting the ex again

# Think of yourself first

In such situations, it is important to understand that the ex is texting when the ex feels like it. It is entirely up to you to respond or not. You DO NOT have to maintain a protocol, thinking that it’ll be too rude to not reply. If you don’t want to reply, you don’t have to and you frankly shouldn’t. Do not use it as an opportunity to continue the mud-slinging. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for not responding. Even if you do respond, make sure you can do so in an indifferent manner.

# You don’t have to reply instantly

“When exes come back after no contact, it startles you for a second. My ex contacted me after 2 years and I couldn’t help but immediately respond to ask her what she wanted. She said, “Wow, instant reply. It’s almost like you’ve been waiting for me.” The humiliation I felt after that made sure I never texted her back again,” Aaron, a construction manager, shares with us.

No matter how you both ended things, try not to respond to the text immediately, even if it’s a lazy Saturday afternoon and your only entertainment is your cat licking her own fur. Instant replies hint at either interest or an unfulfilling life – and even if both might be true, don’t let your ex pick up on that. This is not about playing games, it’s about knowing if you really want to restart a conversation with a person who you have

# Don’t overthink

If exes come back when you stop caring, you’ve got to make sure you remember not to rush into anything and not over-indulge. If they have written, “Hey! Long time. How have you been?”, don’t conclude that the nasty text they sent to you while breaking up meant nothing, and that they want to get back together.

We suggested you to not reply too soon when exes come back after no contact. So, you spent three sleepless nights wondering about their true intention behind a simple ‘Hi’. After carefully analyzing every possibility, when you finally respond, it turns out all they wanted was the phone number of your dog groomer. Instead of overthinking about what they might want, you should focus on where you stand in this whole situation.

# When an ex contacts you years later, talk to someone about it

When you get a text from an ex, all you’re probably thinking about is what they want. Once you give in to the temptation and reply to their message, you might be left utterly confused about their motivation for texting you. If you have a close friend or someone who knows your history with your ex, spill the beans about the text and ask for advice.

Tell them that your ex is trying to reach you. Getting an outside opinion from someone can prevent this thing from venturing into the tricky territory of hot-and-cold and help you maintain the blissful life you have been leading since the breakup. But if you’re reconnecting with an ex after 10 years or so, they might be texting you out of a sense of nostalgia and friendliness. Won’t hurt to text them back if all’s forgiven and forgotten.

# If you have a partner, think of them as well

Your current partner might be aware of what went down between you and your ex. And if you are in a serious relationship, it is always better to loop your partner in on the little developments on the ex-front. Seeing your ex after a long time might effectively spell doom for your present relationship if you just assume your partner will be fine with this. You should be able to talk to whoever you want, but keeping your partner informed in this regard is wise. It will save you a lot of unnecessary fights in the future.