After fighting with your boyfriend, you will be probably be having a lot of doubts and questions. You might be feeling aggressive and wondering how do you calm down after a fight? How do you apologize after a fight? What to do after a fight with your boyfriend? Ever wondered why we fight with people that are closest to us? It is because with love comes a great number of expectations? Even the smallest negative reaction by your partner towards you can get you hurt. Out of all the people you know, you would never want your partner to be the one to misunderstand you and hurt you. With all this, you both get into a big fight for even the smallest of things. After a few moments of your fight, your emotions signal you that it’s time to reconnect with your partner but you don’t know how to talk with your boyfriend after a fight.
* Take your time to calm downBefore talking to your partner after a fight, it is important for you to first calm down. If you are still in the process of cooling down, it will only trigger the fight again if you go and talk to him. Making your mind right before talking to him will help your mind think clearly and you anger will not cloud your judgement. You’ll be ready to have a healing conversation after the fight.
* Talk things outCommunicate. After you both have calmed down and are longing to make it up to each other, talk it out. It doesn’t matter who initiates the conversation, what matters is that you both want to get back to normal again. Now that you both are ready to talk, tell your boyfriend the reason you reacted in that way and what made you feel hurt the most. Playing the blame game will just make your relationship sourer. It is important to understand each other’s perspective.
* Find the triggerIt might be the third or fourth time you and your boyfriend have fought over the same matter. It is important to find the trigger that starts the fight. If the fight is about something he said that hurt you, it might not be because of him. It could be something associated with your past or deeply buried feelings that came to life when your boyfriend said something. Find the trigger and make sure that it is removed so that it again doesn’t cause the same fight.
* Don’t let your ego come in the wayPeople tend to fight because they think that they are not heard even though they are right. At times our egos come in our way and we expect our partner to be the one to say sorry and accept his mistake. As a result, both partners keep maintaining a sour face and this only further poisons the relationship. If doesn’t matter whose fault it was. What matters is how much your partner means to you. If you feel that you are right, talk to your partner and make him understand why instead of telling him to ask for forgiveness.
* Block all negative thoughtsAt times, we feel so angry that all kinds of negative thoughts come to our mind with respect to our partner and our relationship. We sometimes feel like just shouting it out and be done with our relationship.