5 Tips on How To Stop Being Controlled in a Relationship

How to deal with a controlling person? There are easy answers to this question. It can be difficult to deal with a controlling person and to figure out how to stop being controlled in a relationship. However, below are a few ways you can cope with it and if need be, walk away from it as well:

# Be mindful of the signs

Denial can come easily when you are in a controlling relationship. However, it is wise to be aware and vigilant about the signs of it and see your partner for who they really are. It’s also imperative to differentiate if they are just clingy or moody, concerned about your well-being, or in charge of every aspect of your life without considering your wishes.

If these signs are present in your relationship and you’re feeling controlled by your partner, you’ll eventually have to make a decision about your future with them. It is either to participate in the pattern or to take action. The sooner you make that decision, the better.

# Stop feeding the pattern

Another important step in figuring out how to deal with a controlling person is to stop enabling their behavior. It is overwhelming when someone tries to take control of us, leaving us feeling anxious and on the edge. It might seem like you have no say in such a situation, but most of the time, you do. Perhaps, you’re putting up with your partner’s controlling ways because that brings some sense of security or assurance.

Even though it isn’t a conscious decision most of the time to let someone take charge, you must consciously strive not to feed into this pattern of controlling or abusive behavior in a relationship. This isn’t to say that it’s your fault, it isn’t. Most of the time, both partners end up contributing to unhealthy relationship patterns – knowingly or unknowingly – and this is just an attempt for you to break out of it.

# Build a support system

If you are with someone who is controlling in a relationship, you must have found it incredibly difficult to stay connected to people you were closest to – your friends, family, your inner circle. Your controlling partner might not like you talking to them or might not approve of them. However, it is always a good idea to gather your support system and let them know what you are struggling with.

If the relationship gets abusive and you realize this, you’ve already taken the first step toward getting help and knowing how to stop being controlled in a relationship. Tell someone you trust. Once you’ve confided in them, they might be able to put you in touch with a crisis hotline, legal-aid service, a shelter, or a haven.

# Create boundaries

It’s difficult to stand up to a controlling partner and do what is best for you. However, you deserve to be treated fairly. Set boundaries since it is an excellent way of regaining that agency over yourself that you might have lost in the process. It’s critical to create a boundary where you decide what you will and won’t tolerate. A few examples of what boundaries may look like are,

- Having your own identity and letting go of codependency

- Instead of holding onto resentment, express your concerns

- When your partner communicates disrespectfully with you, leave the situation

- Ability to prioritize personal space for self-care.

# Communicate those boundaries to your partner

When you have determined what is negotiable for you and what isn’t, it’s time to communicate this honestly and openly with your partner. No matter what the state of your relationship is, communication is key to making it better.

It may seem scary to assert yourself and express your feelings. It can help to seek help from your support system. If your partner is willing to accept and respect your proposed boundaries, that’s a win-win. However, if they don’t or try to manipulate you again, it’s time for you to decide if you want to carry on like this or call it quits.