5 Tips For parents to Handle Rivalry Among Sibling

Sibling rivalry is inevitable in a household with more than one child. Siblings fighting often leaves parent feeling exhausted and worn out by all the bickering and teasing. It often leaves Moms and Dads wondering why their kids seem to fight so much.
If you are rearing children, you might often be amazed by the forms of sibling rivalry. Name-calling, blaming, arguing, poking, staring contests, tattling, lying, hiding things that are important to the other one and even brawling. All this fighting might seem to be completely nonsensical, however, a healthy sibling rivalry is a necessary part of growing up. It helps our children learn important life lessons like dealing with power struggles, managing conflicts and resolving differences, being assertive and standing up for oneself, negotiation and compromise. At the same time, it is imperative to ensure that either of the children hurt the other one.

More often than not, how we choose to handle the conflicts of our children are driven largely by the way our parents handled it. But when you consciously think about it, you can find alternative and better ways to cope with sibling rivalry with your children.

Here are 5 tips which can help you handle the sibling rivalry between your children:

Set basic rules: Expect more than one episodes of Sibling Rivalry

First and foremost, acknowledge that there isn’t going to be just one random case of sibling spat. It is important to maintain some rules for yourself and for the kids. While the rules for you will be more on how to approach a fight and it will be more about drawing a line for your children. Always calm yourself while dealing with a rivalry incidence, and avoid blaming anyone for it; these are the golden rules for you. When it comes to your children, keep your family values in mind. Basic rules to begin with will be, no hitting and no foul and hurtful language. While setting the ground rules, ensure that you convey the message, ‘things can’t always be done the way they want and that they can think and feel at the same time.’

Don’t show Favouritism

Avoid comparing your children to one another, favourably or unfavourably. Treat your children as the unique individuals they are.

Don’t referee a fight or have long discussions about it

Remember, you don’t have to worry about “who started it.”Focus instead on the misdeed itself, invoke the already established family rule that prohibits the act, and disapprove of it. Deal with it swiftly. All of that attention you are giving your children can be misread as a reward for the arguing and fighting. It may lead to your children fighting often in an attempt to draw your attention.

Do not force children to be friends with each other
There is no need for you to emphasize that your children become friends. Siblings may automatically become more understanding, tolerant and fond of each other when they come of age and on their own wishes. However, there is no excuse to not treat each other respectfully and you should insist that your children do so no matter what.

Encourage communication and understanding of feelings

There isn’t a relationship problem that cannot be sorted with balanced communication. Help children to develop a sense of empathy and a respect for how their siblings feel.

Efficiently handling the sibling rivalry goes a long way in helping you send the message that while competing against each other is okay, it is important that they are there for each other when required.