The Graduate, Sex and the City, Cougar Town, Desperate Housewives–all popular movies and TV shows principally revolving around the subject of older women dating younger men.
This phenomenon has an almost ubiquitous presence in modern media, and, despite the whole issue of chickens and eggs and which came first, the same phenomenon seems to have spilled out onto the streets of reality. So much so that it’s not only acceptable for a younger guy to date an older woman now; it’s actually quite desirable.
Sexual and physiological factors are prime reasons. With men hitting their sexual peaks between the ages of 18 and 21, and women somewhere around their mid to late thirties, the conclusions to be drawn from this particular set of realities are obvious.
However, the free and more willing of the older women out there are vastly outnumbered by the quantity of young studs vying for their attention, giving them the pick of the litter. How can you compete against such overwhelming numbers? Read on for a few vital tips on the age-old art of seducing and securing the attentions of a cougar.
# Dress to impress
The average older woman has been around the block a few times. She’s seen more than you have, heard more than you have, and experienced more than you have. That also means that she’s experienced a much wider range of social situations than you, and she knows how to dress for each and every one of them. Moreover, she feels entirely comfortable doing so.
It is paramount, then, that you get the dress code right whenever you are in her presence. Making the mistake of wearing a t-shirt to a smart, casual event or a tuxedo to one that requires full morning suit attire is likely to leave her feeling distinctly underwhelmed.
Even worse, if a romantic connection has already been established, you could leave her feeling embarrassed in front of her peers–an end result that can, at best, lead to a frosty goodbye and a subsequent dismissal of your existence. Do your research, and try your best to be the man she knows she deserves.
# Stick your chin outYou’re a young guy, and that’s a major part of the attraction for older women. They like who you are–all that freshness and youthful spirit–and don’t want you to pretend to be anything else.
Irrespective of age, there are certain traits that women need to see in the male objects of their affections. You could be 18 or 80, but she still wants you to be a man–a confident alpha male with a keen eye and robust set of opinions.
Being a wallflower is not the way to a woman’s heart, and youthful indecision is more likely to turn her off than on. Be strong and show her that, despite your tender years, you know your own mind and are more than willing to share it.
# Know when to keep mumThis particular caveat is almost the opposite of the previous one, and counsels you to keep your mouth shut on occasion. That’s not to say that you shouldn’t air your opinion from time to time. Not at all. She actually likes that.
What this point counsels is the importance of allowing free discussion on both sides. Some young men do try to dominate the conversation, but such a forceful and uninformed manner is unlikely to impress the independent and savvy older woman.
If you want to impress her, attempt conversation as a confident peer, but avoid commenting on subjects you know next to nothing about. She’ll identify your fraud in a second, and you’ll be lucky to get the time of day, nevermind her phone number!
# Avoid the obviousAlthough she is an older woman and this rather apparent age gap lies between you, that doesn’t mean she that wants to be constantly reminded of the fact. Silly references to her being a MILF, cougar, or hot mom will not impress her, and will probably solicit the execution of a stingingly swift slap across the jaw.
If you want to charm her, talk about her apparel, her wit, her beauty–not how many wrinkles she has on her neck!
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Compliment herThe older woman is a lot smarter and keen-minded than the little air-heads of your own age group. But she isn’t so bitter and cynical that she doesn’t know how to appreciate the odd compliment.
In fact, as she as she passes through her middle years, she’s probably more receptive to her ever-dwindling supply of compliments than ever before. Make her glow with a few well-chosen words describing your appreciation for her, and watch her melt in your arms.