We all want to find the person who will make all of our dreams come true. Once we do, we assume that everything will be fine. What’s surprising is sometimes strange feelings of resentment and insecurity suddenly bubble up to the surface without us knowing why.
No matter how happy you are with a person, you find yourself distancing yourself from this happiness because you feel that it will be short-lived. You’re afraid of doing something that can ruin your relationship. You feel that one day your partner will wake up to find that they don’t like you anymore. You think that what you are or who you are will not be enough to make them stay.
The key to finding the strength to overcome your insecurities lies in your courage to face the problems head on. You can’t just turn your back on them and wish for them to go away. Be proactive in taking care of yourself and find it within you to let go of your self-doubt.
# Find the joy in what you doYour work is as much a part of you as your relationship is. Once you feel that your worth is not sufficient in terms of your career, you need to find a way to make it matter. If you are doing what you love, stop thinking that it won’t be enough for your partner. If you are in a position where money matters more than your passion, remind yourself why you’re doing what you do, and stick to that.
No occupation is worthless or demeaning. A good and honest living is something to be grateful and happy about. Once you find happiness at a professional level, you will find that competing with your partner or not being able to live up to their standard is now a non-issue.
# Enjoy your partner and everything that they doYour insecurities can come from the successes of your partner. Their success in life, work, physique or overall disposition can sometimes put you down because you feel that you are not on their level.
Once you start to appreciate their accomplishments without comparing them to yours, you can finally appreciate yourself and let go of your competitiveness. In turn, your insecurities about your worth in the relationship will finally melt away.
# Stop comparing yourself to everyone around you
Just because you’re not comparing yourself to your partner, does not mean that your insecurity is not affecting the relationship. Being unhappy about your lot in life is inevitable once you start to count your achievements while looking at another’s list.
While you list down the things that you failed to do, you are inadvertently fueling your resentment in your relationship because you feel that you are not up to par with the people you compare yourself to.
# Indulge yourselfIn order to feel good about yourself, you need to feel good, period. Go out with your friends. Buy something you’ve always wanted. Treat yourself to a solo vacation. You can even start a new hobby or finish a project that you never got around to. Help your relationship by helping yourself. Once you let off some steam and feel better, you can face your problems with a clear mind.
# Talk about your problems with your partnerThe reason why you have insecurities about your relationship is probably because you never told your partner about them. You are dealing with all these assumptions and fears all alone while your partner is in complete ignorance. If you put your concerns out in the open, your partner can help you deal with them. Getting some form of assurance from your partner can be enough to eliminate your insecurities.
Level with your partner and discuss these types of problems. If they are never acknowledged, it could spell trouble for your budding relationship. You need to overcome your fears and insecurities for you to grow within the relationship.
Your partner is someone you chose out of love and affection. You know this person well enough to trust them. That is why you should use this trust to help assure yourself that there is nothing to be worried about. All you need to do is take care of yourself and enjoy the things that you share with your partner.