5 Ways To Have Successful Friends-With-Benefits Relationship

Friends-with-benefits seems like the perfect setup if you’re not interested in being part of a couple: You get to have great sex with someone you feel comfortable with while skipping all of the trappings of a relationship. It sounds good in theory, but the reality is a little more complicated.

If you’re interested in trying out a FWB situation and you have someone you think is into the idea too, here are a few things you can do to make this non-relationship a total success

* Stay on Same Page

If you’re hoping this arrangement will lead to an actual relationship or you suspect your friend is, do not pass go. It all comes down to expectations, and that requires that both parties have their expectations aligned.

* Set boundaries

Maybe spending the night feels too couple-y to you or you know you’re going to want out if your bedmate starts to develop feelings — whatever it is, make it clear from the get-go what you are and aren’t OK with. Every friends-with-benefits circumstance needs to be crafted differently.

* Keep up the friendship

In Owen’s study, people who didn’t stay friends said that their FWB setup was more sex-based than friendship-based, so doing friends-type things that don’t involve your bed are a good idea. If you engage in friendship behaviors as well, it strengthens the bond even if it doesn’t progress.

* Be honest with yourself

Sure, it’s possible to go into this from a completely neutral standpoint, but it’s also possible that you might develop stronger feelings for your FWB in the process. If one person is not being honest with themselves about actually romanticizing the FWB and wanting more, it can become tricky. So, if you start to develop feelings, it’s important to speak up. Your friend might share the same feelings, but there’s a chance they don’t as well. But keeping quiet only leaves you open to getting seriously hurt.

* Don’t try to hide other relationships

If you start to become interested in someone else, you don’t need to broadcast the news, but you should come clean with your FWB if it progresses. If it’s truly a neutral FWB situation, your friend should be happy for you, Durvasula points out. Owen’s research found that FWBs did not go well when people lied or were deceitful, and you definitely don’t want to be the reason your friendship ended.