This is the time of year that many families spend time together. College students trek home, couples return with their kids, single adults walk through the door again and grandparents often travel to spend time with children and grandchildren they haven’t seen for a while. Whether it’s an extended family holiday vacation or parents and their kids getting together, these times often breed conflict.
There are always those who anticipate great family time but come away feeling disappointment. Some nurse emotional wounds and hurtful exchanges. Others feel overlooked and misunderstood. Many scratch their heads and wonder, Is this really my family? Some vow not return next year, feeling as if they simply don’t belong.
* Joy
Research demonstrates that a positive attitude reduces stress. And we all know reduced parental stress lowers tension in the home. So do yourself a favor. Turn off the noise, park the car, take a deep breath, and bring a smile into your house.
* PatiencePatience is a decision. Here’s the equation: Listen, absorb, clarify, reflect, respond. Peace is more probable when we respond instead of reacting.
* KindnessThis is a decision, too. Random acts of kindness are OK, but we recommend deliberate, applied, unrestrained kindness.
* GenerosityWe’re not talking about money here, but about generosity in relationships, giving the benefit of the doubt, preemptive love strikes, and giving forgiveness.
* FaithfulnessA lot of discord comes out of uncertainty. As a dad, you can eliminate a lot of uncertainty in your family by being so resolutely and predictably faithful in all the ways that count. Be the dad your kids feel safe with, the father their mom can rely on, the powerfully positive presence that carries certainty and peace in its wake.