5 Ways To Open Up To Someone You are Dating

Learning how to open up to someone you’re dating is never easy. Even when smitten, it can seem like the most terrifying thing in the world to be vulnerable around them. Even when you want to get closer and take your relationship to the next level, the fear of getting hurt can stop you in your tracks.

That fear is perfectly natural. If you’ve been hurt before, you know what it feels like. You subconsciously want to prevent that feeling from reoccurring. Last time you were vulnerable, you were hurt. It makes sense you wouldn’t want to do the same thing again.

As much as that logic lines up, in the long run, protecting yourself from being hurt prevents you from getting close to someone. By closing yourself off to vulnerability, you actually hurt yourself. It sounds complicated but learning how to open up to someone you’re dating doesn’t have to be so scary.

# Share something embarrassing

This is a great way to get your feet wet when opening up. You don’t have to share your deepest darkest secret with them, but if you want to ease into being more open, share something you aren’t so proud of.

It can be something more serious like your political views before doing research and learning more. Or it can be funny. With my boyfriend, I told him a story about how in middle school my crush asked me to the dance in the cutest way. I spaced out and didn’t notice it for ten minutes.

Sharing something embarrassing or unflattering shows your confidence and ability to laugh at yourself. Offering a story like that connects you through humility. It also shows honesty about the less than impressive moments in your life, and it can be rewarding.

# Ask them about themselves

Asking someone you’re dating about themselves starts the conversation. Also, ask them about their dream job or what they’re most proud of. This will get them to open up and as they do so, you will do the same.

When someone shares something personal with you, you feel compelled to return the favor and vice versa. This will help a dialogue form and continue so you can be on the same page.

# Talk about your passions

Talking about what makes you happy can be very personal but also easy to do. When I’m talking about my job, I could go on for hours. We all have a hobby or passion like that, even if it is reading or watching movies.

Opening up about something you’re proud of will show the person you’re dating your drive and ambition. This gives you a chance to be confident and happy around them, leading to more of this in the future.

# Discuss your families

Talking about your family is always personal. It is a great way to get to know someone and what they’ve been through. Whether you have a good relationship with your family or not, discussing that with someone you date brings you closer together.

Trusting them with something so private shows your willingness to open up and your desire to move forward together. It could also introduce them to the possibility of meeting them one day.

# Be honest

Always be yourself. Of course, you want to put your best foot forward when dating someone. Opening up is about being yourself, flaws and all. If you sugarcoat things or say what you think they want to hear, you do both of you a disservice.

Being yourself when opening up is the only way to really get to know someone and build a collection. Without that, you are only making things more difficult and uncomfortable.