Having a physical connection to your partner is important, but without emotional intimacy, there won’t be a deeper, below the surface connection. It’s this connection that allows couples to be open and honest at all times, and speak and share freely. You both have a deep knowing and understanding of one another.
Emotional intimacy doesn’t happen overnight, and it’s definitely something that requires constant work and commitment from both people in a relationship for it to grow.
# Be braveAvoiding talking about certain issues, disagreements, or fears, will only break down the connection you share with your partner over time. Sweeping things under the carpet might temporarily make you feel better, and help swerve any confrontation; but it doesn’t help to solve the root of your problems.
Challenging topics always need to be addressed, and it requires a certain degree of courage to have these conversations. If you don’t, then the intimacy in your relationship will begin to erode. You may not notice it immediately, but over time, huge cracks will appear; and they will also require a much greater deal of effort and time to resolve than if you’d addressed the issue when it first arose.
# Be vulnerableEveryone is afraid to a certain degree of being vulnerable in a relationship, because it opens us up to the possibility of being hurt or betrayed. But being open and honest with your feelings helps create a strong emotional connection with your partner, and builds trust.
You can take this slow at first, and share little pieces at a time. Be sure to support and encourage each other as you do. The more you practice this, the easier it will become, and eventually being vulnerable will become a no brainer.
# Take care of yourselfIf you invest time and effort in loving and taking care of yourself, and developing into a stronger person in your own right, then when you come together with your partner you’ll create a much stronger, healthier partnership.
This is why so many people preach that you need to love yourself first, and enjoy your own company before entering into a relationship. And they’re not wrong.
# Build trust
A deep connection requires a deep level of trust between both partners; and this takes time to develop. If you want to build emotional intimacy, then you need to trust your partner completely, and they need to trust you.
If you’re someone who struggles with trust issues—maybe because of childhood traumas or being betrayed in past relationships—it’s important to address where those fears are coming from. Because you can’t be afraid that your partner is going to hurt you, and love and trust them with your whole heart.
# Let go of the past
Keeping score of past fights and wrongdoings will only help you stay stuck, and dwelling on petty things that you’ve supposedly moved on from and forgiven for. If you forgive someone, you’re making a choice to let it go and move on, but dragging things back up signifies that you haven’t fully forgiven.
Let go of the need to be right and in control all the time. We are all flawed, and we all make mistakes. But if you choose to focus on them, and always point them out, it creates a wedge between the two of you, and can make one or both partners feel as though they can’t do anything right, so why bother trying?