I know the way that you feel and why you are searching here. Like someone throwing you straight up in the air to land flat on your back, you have had the wind knocked out of you. Likely, when they said goodbye, your brain was spinning, and a desperate feeling was in your gut as you stood there, feeling surreal and as if everything that you had was gone.
Nothing feels right. Like trying on a pair of shorts that are too small, your feelings are sticking out all over, bulging right out of the seams. Your heart is throbbing, and you just want to find some magic cure to take it all away. You want to wake in the morning and have everything back to the way it was two minutes before they said it was over, but you can’t. If you are looking for the answer to how to stop loving someone overnight, I am sorry: I don’t have the answer to that.
# Find a hobby
I know that is so cliché. Everyone is probably telling you to occupy your time or to find something that you like to do. You know why? Because it works. When you are out, busy, distracted, and doing things that make you happy, there is no room for sadness. As those happy times begin to encroach upon the times that are not-so-happy, they will begin to take over, and suddenly you will wake up less lonely than you were the day before.
# Reconnect with old friends
When you are in a relationship, you likely put your partner first. Now is the time to reconnect with friends that you may have lost touch with, or to rekindle friendships you’ve let fade. Find the ones who will tell you that it wasn’t meant to be, you can do better, and are always on your side.
Don’t turn to those who are likewise going through loss. Despite what they say, misery does not love company—it has to hang out with it because no one else wants to. Find that girl or guy that makes you laugh, and is always good to turn your mood around, and hang onto them for a while.
# Don’t go to the same old placesIt may take all that you have to stay away from the old places you used to go. First of all, like moving away from home, you can’t ever go back. Second, there is probably something somewhere inside of you that is hoping you are going to run into them, and they are going to realize how much they miss you. The prospects of that happening are very slim.
If it is meant to be, it isn’t going to happen the way that it does in the movies. It isn’t going to be some chance meeting where they confess how much they miss and want you back. If, and when, they are ready to reach out to you, they will. Running into them on accident isn’t going to get you what you want–it will only set you back on any progress you’ve made.
# Ride out the ups and downs
The thing that you have to keep in mind for your own survival is this: as bad as you feel right now, when you meet the right person, you are going to feel ten times better than you ever did with the person you just lost. If they broke up with you or broke your heart, then they weren’t the right one. Sure, it is easy for me to say, but it is true. The right person is someone who will never leave, will stick it out to the end, and will find a way to muddle through the good times and the bad.
# Trust that you deserve betterOkay, this may be the one that most people will argue against. There are times when the break up is your fault. If you did something to make them break up with you, then it is no different. There was a reason you did what you did. If you hollered at them too many times, were too bitchy all the time, or you cheated on them, then there was something about them that didn’t bring out the best you.
You need and deserve someone who will always make you want to be the best person you can be. That includes not wanting to treat them badly. If you were miserable and crabby all the time, you have to stop and think about why you felt that way. What was it about being with them, or about your life, that made you not so much fun to be around? Instead of worrying about not loving them, you should try to think of ways to love yourself.