For any relationship to flourish, it requires a great deal of time and commitment from both people. Putting in the work and showing up is one thing, but without communication, you won’t be able to move forward.
Communication is the key to any functional, healthy, and happy relationship. The trouble is, everyone communicates differently, and if you don’t understand how your partner communicates and learn to work in harmony with that, you’ll end up having unnecessary arguments.
The good news is, most communication problems can easily be solved with a few simple but effective tweaks. Here are some of the most common problems with communication in relationships, and how you can solve them starting today.
# Not spending enough quality time listening to each otherTechnology definitely helps make our lives more convenient, and makes it easier to stay connected to the people we care about. But along with phones, the internet, and social media, some of us have become increasingly distracted and glued to screens. Almost everyone is guilty of being with their partner, who’s trying to have a conversation with us, while we’re only half listening as we scroll through our Facebook feed.
# Being aggressive or defensiveIn a relationship, the two of you are on the same team. Take a moment to let that sink in. Think back to a time when one of you has raised your voice or gotten furious—how did it end? Probably not well. That’s because nobody likes to be yelled at, and often that will cause the other person to become defensive because they feel like they’re being attacked.
If this becomes a habit, you’ll end up creating more problems in the relationship, which will become increasingly difficult to solve. Next time you feel hurt or frustrated by your partner, take a few deep breaths, and communicate your feelings more gently. See what happens.
# Not stating the obvious
The two of you might be deeply in love with each other, but how many times do you communicate this? It sounds silly and obvious, but unless you say it regularly, one or both people in the relationship can end up feeling unappreciated or unloved.
Some people struggle to express their emotions, but even something as small as saying I love you to each other once a day can go a long way. Compliments are always great too—who doesn’t like receiving a compliment?!
# Not picking your battles
You know what I mean. Is it really the end of the world if your partner didn’t do the dishes the way you wanted them to, or if they picked up the wrong type of milk from the store?
If you keep picking at each other over the little things, you’ll end up arguing constantly, over things that really don’t matter in the grand scheme of things. And when something comes up that you feel strongly about, your partner won’t take it as seriously as you perhaps need them to.
# Expecting your partner to read your mind
We know on a logical level that no one is a mind reader. So why is it that so many of us get upset when our partners don’t know what we’re thinking or feeling every minute of every day?!
Our partners know us better than most people do, but they don’t know everything. How can they? It’s totally unfair to expect them to.
# Failing to take responsibilityUsually when you have a fight with your partner, the tendency is to blame everything on them and not acknowledge your part in it. The truth is, there’s always two sides, and the blame is usually shared.
When you both take responsibility for your part in an argument it increases your chances of resolving any issues in your relationship, because it encourages you to act as a team instead of two individuals.