It makes me sad when I hear someone recite an infamous dating myth that they live by. Much like swallowing a watermelon seed will lead to a plant growing in your stomach, these are the dating myths to forget.
There is a plethora of myths about love and dating that have been passed down through the centuries between girlfriends and frat boys.Anything from blondes have more fun to once a cheater always a cheater are told and told and told again.The intention is pure and some people truly believe these things, but just like any other stereotype or long-lived fable, these dating myths are pure fiction.
# She’s out of your league
Or you’re out of his league or any version of this. There is no such thing as leagues or levels of attractiveness. Everyone is attracted to different things. Sure, some prefer long legs and sparkling eyes, but others prefer intellect or a sense of humor.
Comparing people’s attractiveness, especially physically, to determine if they are dateable is a horrid pass time, and it’s purpose is to prey on people’s self-esteem. [Read: The psychology of attraction the six types you didn’t know but should]
# Men don’t like strong women
If this was true Michelle Obama, Hilary Clinton, and Beyonce would all be single. Sure, some men with fragile egos who carry around a sack filled with toxic masculinity may prefer a woman to be in the kitchen as opposed to a board room, but those men are not the majority.
# Women like bad boysIn every teen drama, you see the good girl fall for the bad boy. This is the same reason “they” say nice guys finish last. There is this romanticism of the bad boy turning good for the girl. The thing is, that is almost always on TV or in books.
In real life, nice guys don’t finish last. Every single one of my friends ditched their high school or college beaus who claimed to be nice guys for actual nice guys who own up to their mistakes and work at being good people every day.
#
Play hard-to-getPlaying hard-to-get is a mind game. As common as that phrase is, it rarely works. Studies have even shown that a man may be more likely to try to pick up a woman that plays hard to get but will rarely choose her for the long haul.
People who like the chase are usually in competition with themselves and not ready for a relationship. So, if you are serious about dating, playing hard-to-get is not the right move.
# Women care moreThis goes back to women always being the caregiver, the mother, the gentle one. The fact is, it isn’t true. Men and women care equally and messily. Some days a woman may care more, while other days the man might.
And many studies have shown that men handle heartbreak worse than women. Some studies even say it takes men up to twice as long to get over a breakup as women.
# Opposites attractThis age-old tale is bologna. Sure someone who loves to travel could find a homebody attractive. And someone that is super fashionable may find someone who wears sweats hot.
The thing is, attraction is never that simple. No one is 100% opposite or 100% alike. My boyfriend is shy, and I can talk to anyone for hours as soon as I meet them. But we have a lot of the same interests and goals in life.