Not everyone likes online dating because it frequently results in a lot of rejection. But it doesn’t have to! The key is to know what you’re doing. And since Tinder is the hottest dating app these days, you should know some key factors for how to start a Tinder conversation if you want to get a date.
One of the most difficult parts of any online dating site or app, including Tinder, is how do you start a conversation with someone? It may be awkward for a lot of people. But here’s the good news. If you matched with someone, then they already have an interest in you!
So, don’t be shy. Contact them and see if you two might be compatible. Here’s how to start a Tinder conversation.
# Actually start a conversationIf you have used Tinder before, you know what I’m talking about. Many times, you’ll match with someone and get all excited. But then… crickets. They never message you. And you’re just waiting around bashing your head against a wall wondering why they changed their mind and don’t like you enough to message you.
Well, why don’t you be the one to take charge and start talking? Who says you have to wait for the other person? It seems a bit silly to say you like someone by swiping right and then never even talk to them. Knowing how to start a Tinder conversation is really not that difficult, and it starts right here.
# Don’t just say heyyy
Okay, so you’ve decided to take the step and send them the first message. Great! Congratulations. Good choice. But now, what do you say? Ummm… not “heyyy.” Or any variation of that for that matter. Not “hi” or “what’s up” or anything like that. Why?
Well, the reason is because it’s not meaningful. And it kind of looks like you’re too lazy to put any effort into starting a real conversation and learning about them.
In other words, it seems like you are just sending that short line to everyone you match with *which you probably are*. But people don’t want to feel like they are one of many. They want to feel like they are special. So, make your first message meaningful.
# Don’t be cheesyBelieve it or not, there are worse things to say in a first message than “heyyy” or “hi.” There are a ton of cheesy lines that people use. But please, don’t do it. Don’t say anything like “Your eyes are as blue as the ocean” or “Did you just fall from Heaven?” or any other goofy pickup line like that.
I know Tinder can be a “hookup app” sometimes. And yes, there are people on there who only want to have sex and nothing more. So, if you’re one of those people, perhaps “heyyy” or one of the cheesy lines might work fine.
But if you’re actually trying to find a meaningful relationship with a respectable person, then you will have to stay away from the cheesy and bad pickup lines.
# Say it’s nice to meet them and introduce yourselfSo now we know that you should stay away from cheesy pickup lines and one-word introductions, but what exactly should you say? Well, what do you say when you meet someone in person? You say your name, say it’s nice to meet you, and eventually you tell them something about yourself. If you want to know how to start a Tinder conversation right, this is how to do it.
Something like, “Hi John, I’m Jessica. Nice to meet you! I really liked your profile, and I think we have a lot in common. I’m a sales rep for Proctor and Gamble. What do you do for a living?”
Or sometimes it’s great to start out with introducing yourself followed up by, “How have you been enjoying your experience here on Tinder?” That always works well because almost everyone who has used Tinder usually says it stinks. And then you can laugh about it. It’s a great ice-breaker.
# Don’t say anything possibly offensiveOne thing you have to remember is that when you are communicating over text/messaging, everything can be misconstrued. You might think that your sarcasm is hilarious, but if someone doesn’t know you, they might not catch on to your sarcasm.
Or even if you think someone is hot, don’t go and comment on their body parts… that’s just gross. Save that for when you’re in a relationship with them.
Getting too personal or saying things that could be offensive to someone definitely won’t win you a date. So, err on the side of caution until you really get to know the person well.
# Write back
If someone messages you first, write back! Even if you have changed your mind about them, politely tell them so. You don’t have to be rude, but you can some something nice like “I just met someone and I am going to see where it goes with them. But I wish you the best of luck on your journey to find love!”
Ignoring someone is one of the worst things you can do. It’s like you’re treating them as a non-human… as if they don’t even exist. So please acknowledge everyone who messages you first. You would want them to do the same if the roles were reversed, right?