You’ve probably had a bad first kiss or two. It’s just inevitable if you’re in the dating game. That being said, you have to learn to read between the lines – or the lips – in order to figure out if it’s just a bad kisser, or something worse.
Don’t just automatically assume that a bad kisser will be a bad partner. There are very specific things to keep a lookout for that can help you determine if it’s just a nervous kiss or one of the major first kiss red flags. Here’s what you should keep an eye out for.
# Too much eagernessIt’s one thing to be excited about someone and it’s another to be super eager to kiss someone. I mean, yeah we all get that rush of emotion right before the kiss but if they’re trying multiple times to kiss you or are going nuts about it, something is off.
They shouldn’t be THAT stoked to kiss you. It could mean they just want to get some and it could also mean they’re so inexperienced this is their first kiss. And while there’s nothing wrong with that, you may want someone who actually knows what they’re doing.
# They grab you and kiss you
This is just in poor taste. It might seem romantic but in reality, they didn’t give you a choice. They just kind of forced you to kiss them by grabbing you and smashing their face against yours.
This could show they don’t really respect your wishes. It could also mean they’re a hopeless romantic who watches too many romantic comedies. And that means they don’t really know what a real relationship would take. Big red flag.
# Nonconsensual kissesYou should avoid this person at all costs. If they just kiss you out of the blue and you didn’t know it was coming and you didn’t say it was okay that’s horrible. You should never put up with this.
They didn’t have any regard for your feelings in the first kiss. This could mean they don’t really respect your thoughts or desires. Why would they kiss you without at least giving you a little warning to duck out if you didn’t want to?
# Continuously trying to kiss you despite you dodging them
There’s always this person. They keep going in for the kiss even though you’ve repeatedly made it clear you’re not interested.
There is no fine line here. Someone can tell if you don’t want to kiss them when you keep moving out of the way. When they persist, they don’t have respect for you. They’re selfish and just want to get a kiss despite your feelings. Steer clear of this type.
# Trying to “come up” after the kissThis is the first kiss and they’re trying to sleep with you. It’s fine if you’ve been hinting at them that you want to hop in bed right away but it’s not okay for them to just assume.
It could mean they just want some ass, really. They might also be overly presumptuous and cocky – both of which aren’t great qualities in a significant other.
# Giving you tongue right awayGoing in for a light kiss is perfectly fine but when they stick their tongue down your throat the first time your lips touch, it’s a huge red flag. That’s gross and very presumptuous of them.
This is also just disrespectful in a way. You didn’t indicate that you wanted more. You didn’t lean in and deepen the kiss and therefore, it’s a little rude to just stick their tongue in your mouth.