Parents affect your relationships in countless ways that leave you scarred for life. Just ask Romeo and Juliet. Or, better yet, look at yourself. Parents can interfere in your love life in obvious and less-than-obvious ways.
The saying that your parents love you and wish nothing but the best for you is true. After all, they watched you grow before their very eyes. No one knows you better than your parents. However, when it comes to your adult life, there should be boundaries—especially when you’re dating.
What your parents think of your special someone, or the way you handle your relationship definitely wreaks havoc on your love life. You often find yourself torn between your happiness and your parents’ approval. Their meddling even leaves you embarrassed and angry.
# Parents can be very intrusive
They help you move to your new place, help pay your bills when you’re running low and still looking for a job, and even put in a good word for you in that new company you got into. You may often think think, “Where would I be, if not for my parents?”
They’re so used to playing a big part in your life that you’re joined at the hips. They may even show up uninvited when you’re making out with your new partner, or invite themselves on a weekend vacation you planned with your spouse.
# Parents get jealousOnce another someone a special someone takes center stage in your life, it won’t be long before your parents become green with envy and feel sharp pangs of jealousy. Suddenly, you can’t visit them as often as you’d like. You can’t drive your mother to her weekly book club meeting, and you simply cannot stay for dinner for so long.
A lot of the time you spent with your parents is now being eaten up by your beau. This jealousy extends well until you get married. Good luck!
# Parents assume you’re like them
You have your father’s temper, your mother’s nurturing personality, your father’s eyes, and your mother’s hair. Beyond the superficial, parents often think you are like them exactly like them.
You may even end up like them, getting married before having children, staying together and not getting divorced, and spending your anniversaries at the country club.
So, if you don’t do the things they expect you to do, they won’t understand it, and end up flabbergasted. As ridiculous as it seems, your parents may think you’re like them, and expect you to behave as such.
# Parents live their frustrations and aspirations through you
There will be parents who weren’t able to follow their dreams or were deprived of certain things while growing up. When you were born, they wanted you to experience the things they never had.
They hope you become a neurosurgeon or ballerina, when all you want to do is to put up your business. You see, parents live vicariously through you. Although they mean well, they hope you’ll do this and do that, and not date the jazz guitarist you just met at a local bar.
# Parents want to manage youMeaning… your life. From the moment you were born, they set your sleeping schedule, decided your routine, got you into guitar classes, and basically managed everything, to ensure you had the best life possible.
Now that you have grown up, parents often forget you can fend for yourself and make your own decisions. All too often, they continue to try to manage you. Things like hooking you up with this eligible catch from their neighborhood, help you buy a house, or redecorate your nursery. Often, these gestures are a way for them to not lose control over you… and may come at a price.
# Parents think they know everythingThey taught you how to use your utensils and how to catch the ball. So, although you and your partners are grownups with mortgages and careers, in their eyes, you’re still snotty little tots running all over the place. As parents, they feel that experience made them wiser and that you still don’t know how to place one foot in front of the other.
The fact you asked for their advice on a few matters in the past now makes them feel like they need to guide you through your life choices, so you’d better watch out.