6 Major Signs That a Commitment Phobe Loves You

If s/he’s in love with you, s/he’ll show you how important you are to him/her and will make you feel special. You’ll begin to trust this person and see a future with them. That is, of course, until s/he runs the other way because you started getting too close for comfort.

One day they’re head over heels for you, the next they’re trying to ignore your calls and messages. When things are going well, you’re convinced they actually have feelings for you. It’d be too difficult to fake such genuineness, but when they’re avoiding you, all you’re left wondering is what you did wrong. It’s possible you didn’t do anything, and the only thing wrong here is that a commitment-phobe is in love with you.

# They’re very unpredictable

You can’t really trust a commitment-phobe, since their actions are so sporadic. They are caught up between their mind and heart. Their mind tells them that it’s a bad idea and relationships aren’t meant for them while the heart tells them that the risk is worth taking.

In the attempt of listening to both sides half-heartedly, they end up acting weird and unpredictable. One day they will act all warm and cozy and the next, they’ll be all cold and distant. “I can’t wait to meet you, I’m going to hug you for so long,” followed by them not even turning up when you were supposed to meet.

# All they care about is the thrill of the chase

Commitment-phobes love the thrill of the chase. However, when they realize that it could turn into something serious, they run away. They prefer the fantasy of being with someone rather than actually being with someone.

There’s no denying that getting to know a person and trying to figure out how well you two will get along is the most exciting part of the budding romance. Will they reject your advances? Will your flirty texts be reciprocated? Should you hit send on that risky message? The thrill is often so enticing that even people with commitment issues succumb to it.

# They avoid conversations related to you both

They may show you that they’re in love with you but don’t want to talk about it. Whenever they sense that you’ll ask them about where it’s leading to or bring in the “us” factor, they’ll change the topic. One of the biggest signs a commitment-phobe loves you is even when they’re telling you they can’t get enough of you, a question like “What are we?” can send them into a period of hibernation.

S/he prefers avoiding any relationship-related question that you ask rather than dealing with the commitment phobia. When you’re dating someone with commitment issues, you can expect things to remain largely label-less for the majority of it.

# They avoid getting too attached to you

People with commitment phobia prefer to be loners. They hate getting too attached to someone. Imagine you both hanging out at your apartment and having a few drinks. You may even start having heart-to-heart conversations and begin opening up to each other.

The moment s/he realizes that you both are getting into an intimate moment, s/he will make some excuse to leave. When a commitment-phobe is in love, they’re usually in conflict with themselves. They want to get to know you better but tend to avoid getting attached as well.

# They aren’t looking for anything long-term

When a commitment-phobe is in love with you, they’ll try to make sure that it doesn’t go long-term. Commitment-phobes are scared of the responsibilities of a relationship and prefer to stay away from it.

In an attempt to get the best of both worlds, they prefer keeping it casual and breezy. If a commitment-phobe loves you, you can expect them to get jittery if you talk about exclusivity. Don’t let that confuse you because that’s an absolute sign you are dating a commitment-phobe.

# You feel drawn toward them

Something within tells you that they are bad news. Somewhere deep down, you know that this person is going to break your heart, but you are still somewhat drawn toward them. It’s like s/he is the forbidden fruit and you can’t help but take a taste of it. You know that even though this person has feelings for you, they won’t be able to commit, but you try to ignore the fact.

You know it’s bad for you but you just can’t help indulging, like pressing down on a bruise. If a commitment-phobe loves you, you probably already know what you’re up against but still, find it hard to stop.