You meet someone who seems to be the One–a great soulmate. And it’s totally awesome. In the early stages that is! As time goes by, you start to notice that things are actually not so great. You feel disappointed, frustrated, sad and hurt. Your boyfriend starts acting in ways that turn you off. You find yourself unhappy in the relationship. Maybe you’re not sure whether to stick with it and give him the benefit of the doubt, or cut bait and leave.
This can get very confusing if you feel like deep down, you love him but are also wondering should I break up with my boyfriend! It’s important to really take stock and look at red flags that may mean even more disappointment and heartbreak are ahead. You can save yourself a lot of suffering and wasted time by ending things before they get worse.
# Your relationship is erraticYour boyfriend may be breadcrumbing you – he texts and then stops, and then starts. Or he takes you on a date, but then stops for a period of time. Or meets with you for a booty call and then disappears. This red flag shows that he’s not seriously invested in a future at this point with you or is not willing to put in the commitment to be steady. And if you get more and more emotionally involved, heartbreak could be ahead.
# Things between you remain stagnant When you’re dating, the hallmark of a healthy relationship is that you feel more in love and happier together over time. This process of getting better together as a couple usually occurs, especially at the beginning of the relationship. This means that as the months go by, you feel closer, more involved and invested in each other. The “L” word pops up. You are invited to share living space, to meet friends and family. Over time there is talk of a future together. If this evolution in closeness is not happening over the course of 2-6 months or more of dating and you want a future together, you may want to look at breaking up with your boyfriend.
# Your boyfriend liesYou start to notice little or big lies based on what your boyfriend says or does. For example, he tells a friend that he works out four times a week, but barely makes it to the gym one time a week. He may tell you he cut off with his old girlfriend, but you see a post on his Facebook page that indicates they’re still in contact. This is a red flag that indicates that your boyfriend lacks integrity. In a love relationship you need someone you can depend on. If your boyfriend is lying now, that could mean that later, he could be doing other things that really break your heart –like cheating. Lying should be a no-go when trying to decide should I break up with my boyfriend or not!
# Your boyfriend cheats on youHere’re common signals that something is up and your boyfriend may be cheating:
- He’s spending less time with you. He may be “working late” have “business dinners” or “going to the gym” more
- He’s less interested in sex
- His cell is turned off at times you normally reach him.
- Credit card bills for unexplained hotel stays or gifts
- He’s more distant, angry or picky
- He has lipstick or a strange-colored strand of hair on his clothes
- He is defensive or lies if you ask him where he’s been
- You find romantic texts or email messages from another woman on his phone or computer
The last three signs, in particular, are very telling. If you suspect your boyfriend is cheating, this big red flag means it’s time for some straight talking. This is not the kind of partner you want to pursue in the long run and it’s better to cut your losses!
# The relationship is going downhillDo you feel like the relationship with your boyfriend is getting more and more distant? Are you fighting more? Having more angry exchanges? This may mean the relationship is sliding downhill—another red flag. Do you have angry times where you freeze each other out and don’t talk? Fights where he is totally defensive and blames you for any problems? Is he hypercritical of you? Is this getting worse and worse over time? These are serious red flags!