It is frustrating to give your heart and soul into a relationship and receive nothing in return. But, it is also important to understand that an emotionally unavailable man is not a monster. He probably has his reasons to be that way. No human being is born without emotions. If you want to know how to connect with an emotionally unavailable man, you need to dig deeper into his life and understand where he is coming from.
It could be childhood trauma, past experiences, or anything which has triggered the fear of being emotional in him. And it isn’t fair to blame this on his gender because there are enough women who are also emotionally unavailable. If you have made up your mind that you want to make this relationship work, then pay attention now, because we have 6 helpful tips on how to connect with an emotionally unavailable man:
# Understand that his emotional unavailability has nothing to do with you The biggest confession of an emotionally unavailable man will probably be that he is not like that on purpose, he behaves the same way with everyone. To make an emotionally unavailable man fall in love with you, you need to start by removing the blame from your head. Understanding that it is not your fault that your partner is acting this way is the first step toward breaking past his emotional walls.
# Try to empathize with his state of mind We all have our defenses to protect ourselves from something or the other. For an emotionally unavailable man, it’s distancing himself from his feelings. When it comes to men, as a society, we forget to give their mental and emotional health the same dignity as that of someone else.
We write their emotional needs off as weakness or view them as a type that must be avoided by all women like a plague. If, like Alice In Wonderland, you have gone and thrown yourself into the hole you were asked to stay away from, then just like her, it is time to face the reality and find a practical solution and learn how to connect with an emotionally unavailable man
# Be prepared for disappointments Yours won’t be Nora Ephron’s movie but a Nicholas Sparks novel where the main character finds true love, but only after crossing a trail of hurdles. When you want to make an emotionally unavailable man fall in love with you, you have to be realistic. There is no magic potion in the world that will transform him overnight.
Riddhi throws light on what you can expect when in a relationship with an emotionally unavailable man. There will be moments, especially during times of high stress, when he will shut down and not prefer to discuss things. Even when you confront him, he might not respond well to it and would choose to remain silent.
# Notice if he acknowledges his emotional unavailability The first and biggest confession of an emotionally unavailable man is that he doesn’t know he is emotionally unavailable. So, what you need to do when learning how to connect with an emotionally unavailable man is gauge his sense of self. Is he aware he is emotionally unavailable? Has he accepted it? Is he trying to do something about it?
If the answer to all of the above is yes, then it is good for you. He has taken the first step of self-realization and is trying to change himself for the better. However, if he hasn’t realized it, things can get trickier. Instead of attacking him with words, try to show him gently by examples of his emotional unavailability. You can express your concerns or views, but you can’t demand or try to change someone for them. They’ll have to figure that out on their own.
# Focus on your feelings Someone once told me that a relationship might be a two-way street but it is also akin to a business transaction. You give something and in return you receive something. I believe that stands true for everyone, even an emotionally unavailable man. It is even truer in relationships where you’re trying to learn how to connect with an emotionally unavailable man
Proper communication is essentially missing when you’re in a relationship with an emotionally unavailable partner. Be accepting and learn to open healthy channels of communication.
# Reflect on your mental health Maintaining a relationship if you know a man is emotionally unavailable can be extremely draining, especially if you are emotionally available and secure yourself. This circumstance frequently causes emotions of rejection and insignificance, and it may be highly unpleasant when you realize your contributions to a relationship outweigh your partner’s.
A person can become melancholic as a result of internalizing their emotionally absent partner’s conduct over time. As a result, your walls might go up too and now there are not one but two emotionally unavailable people in a relationship.