Marriage is undoubtedly one of the most complex relationships to maintain. The honeymoon phase inevitably comes to an end. From can’t-keep-your-hands-off-each-other days you graduate to a more settled, rhythmic pace of life.
As you try to juggle the responsibilities of work and home, keeping the spark alive and strengthening your connection can become a struggle. Unless both partners make conscious efforts on this front, you can find yourself at a tipping point that can cause your union to disintegrate.
# Lack of communication
Stunted communication can be both the underlying cause and one of the major symptoms of an unhappy marriage. One of the unmissable unhappy marriage signs is not being able to see eye-to-eye due to different perspectives and wavelengths. Communication between partners can get obstructed due to two reasons – failure to understand what the partner is trying to say or choosing to not engage in conversation out of fear of arguments and fights.
# Imbalance of power in the relationship
Marriage therapist and author of the book Ghosted and Breadcrumbed: Stop Falling for Unavailable Men and Get Smart about Healthy Relationships Marni Feuerman, in her writings, links unhappy marriage to a power struggle in the relationship.
If you, your partner or both of you tend to invalidate each other’s feelings and concerns with a view to gain an upper hand in arguments as well as your relationship, it’s an indicator that you’re living in an unhappy marriage.
# Not spending quality time togetherA lack of desire to spend quality time together is also among the unhappy marriage signs as it indicates that a couple has started growing apart. They have become used to their loneliness, which in turn, makes them discontent and unhappy with their marital life.
# Shirking responsibilitiesThat unhappiness in marriage also manifests as an unwillingness to shoulder the responsibilities of the house and children. Given that most couples bicker over whose turn it is to do the dishes or who would take the kids to their playdates, are most marriages unhappy?
Well, not quite. Trying to pass the buck of domestic responsibilities or picking up slack because your spouse didn’t do what they were supposed to every once in a while is rather normal in most marriages.
# You entertain thoughts of divorceLike we said before, every marriage has moments where at least one of the spouses is overcome with the urge to just pack up their bags and leave. However, these thoughts are fleeting. Often, a result of flaring tempers.
When you’re in an unhappy marriage but can’t leave, these thoughts about divorce take a more permanent place in your headspace. You don’t just want to pack up your bags and leave in a fit of rage not knowing where you’d go or what you’d do next.
# Comparison with other spousesYou are not happy in your marriage when you constantly compare your spouse with others. This, in turn, creates feelings of insecurity, inferiority complex and jealousy, which can further aggravate problems in an already precarious marital bond.