6 Signs That Mean It Might Be Time To Break Off Your Engagement

Being engaged is exciting and amazing. You’re happy, you’re exciting for the future, you’re relationship is moving forward, and you and your partner are confident that you want to spend the rest of your lives together… forever. Or are you?

Sometimes, certain traits and feelings about your partner don’t come to light until after the ring is on your finger and it can leave you feeling unsure about your relationship and where you’re headed. Before you vow to spend the rest of your life with someone, keep an eye out for these 6 signs that mean it might be time to break off your engagement and walk away.

# You can’t get excited about anything related to the wedding

It’s normal to be nervous, but if you find that you can’t get excited about wedding planning (your bachelorette party, trying on wedding dresses, or hair and makeup trials) it could be a sign of a possibly bigger issue, according to Carolyn Wagner, a licensed counselor and psychotherapist. “It would be wise to examine what’s getting in the way of you enjoying these things like you deserve to.” Even if you’re the more reserved type, you should still get excited about marrying the love of your life.

# Your fiancé cheats at his bachelor party

So this may seem like a completely obvious reason to walk away from a relationship but you’d be surprised by how often this happens. A recent study shows that one-third of bachelors cheat at their bachelor parties. “Surprisingly, this is one of the few times a man will admit to cheating because it was his ‘last chance’ to have sex. Oftentimes, men do it because they’re not ready for the responsibility of marriage and could be too cowardly to break off an engagement. He could be hoping that once you find out he cheated on you, you’ll do it for him,” says Dr. Caroline Madden, an author and a therapist who specializes in infidelity. Definitely put the marriage (and perhaps the relationship) on hold until you address the infidelity.

# You’re waiting for some of your partner’s behaviors/beliefs to change

You thought that taking the relationship to the next level would make them save more money, drink less, and spend more time with you. Or maybe there were other behaviors you were hoping would change while dating… and they haven’t. “Unfortunately, problematic behaviors while dating rarely resolve themselves just because you get engaged, or married, or have kids. These things need to be addressed directly and mindfully worked on. If something is still troubling you, it’s time to have a serious conversation and possibly delay or call off the engagement until it’s resolved,” advises Wagner.

# You’re not having or enjoying sex anymore

Your sex life shouldn’t be fading this early in your relationship. If you find yourself cringing through sex, doing it as little as once every month or few months or have to fantasize about another person to get turned on, your next stop shouldn’t be the altar. A lack of sex does not bode well when you think about what your sex life will be like for the next 60 years, says dating coach, Josie May. If there’s no attraction or desire for one another, it could eventually leave one or both of you to seek sex elsewhere.

# You realize you’re getting married for the wrong reason

Perhaps you only wanted to get married because all of your friends are married, you’ve reached a certain age, someone is in the military and about to be deployed, there was an unplanned pregnancy, he has money, he’s the first guy that ever loved you, or you’re just tired of being single… there are a lot of reasons to get married, but are these the right ones? A marriage based around circumstances rather than love is likely to fail. If you feel yourself simply going through the motions and questioning the reasons why, then it may be time to end things.

# Your fiancé trash talks your friends, family, even you

It’s not uncommon for some men to treat a ring almost like a bargaining chip. (AKA, “If I give you a ring, you stop/start doing this.”) Break things off if your partner doesn’t love and accept who you are and who you surround yourself with, advises life coach Samantha Siffring. “If your partner blows up your phone while you’re out, criticizes all of your friends, or restricts when you can go out, it’s a major red flag of future abusive behavior. Don’t let your partner ruin your relationships with other influential people in your life.”