6 Steps You Can Take To Ask Where You Stand With a Guy

Before you gather the courage to inquire about your position with a guy, it's essential to cultivate that inner strength. It may sound cliché, but it holds true.

Until you acknowledge your own value and what you truly deserve, you won't be able to assertively approach this question with a guy you are involved with. It's crucial to understand that you are worthy of someone better than the immature individuals you've dated in the past. You deserve a guy who can answer your inquiries honestly, even if it puts them slightly outside their comfort zone. Moreover, you deserve to find a guy who is eager to commit to you.

Once you reach the realization that you are deserving of such treatment, you'll gain the confidence to be vulnerable. You'll be aware that even if the guy you're interested in doesn't share the same sentiments, you'll be alright because you know your worth.

Some individuals straightforwardly inquire about their now-boyfriend's intentions after around four dates. While he might respond with something casual like nothing serious or just someone to hang out with, you must be prepared for such a possibility.

If you pose this question and receive a non-committal or vague response, it's crucial not to feign indifference and act unaffected. Instead, you must find the strength within yourself to assert, Well, I'm looking for something more than that.

On the other hand, if he expresses openness to any possibility but indicates that he would consider a serious relationship if things progressed in that direction, you might feel validated and heard. It would demonstrate that he can respond without discomfort or evasion.

# Think about what you want to say first

If you're feeling anxious about the conversation, take the time to plan and organize your thoughts beforehand. This preparation will ensure that you know what key points you want to express, and you won't stumble over your words. As a result, you'll come across as more confident and self-assured during the discussion.

# Be emotionally prepared

You should be ready for the chance that he might avoid having the Define the Relationship (DTR) conversation altogether, which can be concerning.

However, if he does avoid it, that's a significant red flag. It suggests that he isn't interested in defining the relationship or having any kind of label. Instead, he might prefer to maintain a casual approach, doing whatever he wants with whoever he wants without any commitment.

# Act like it’s not a big deal

When initiating the DTR conversation, it's essential not to overwhelm him from the start. Approach the discussion as casually as possible, avoiding phrases like can we talk or we need to talk about something. Such introductions might make him feel apprehensive and defensive about the upcoming conversation.

# Have the conversation when you are ready

The timing of discussing the boundaries in your relationship is neither right nor wrong. You have the flexibility to bring it up early on or choose to wait a while. Trust your instincts and have the conversation when it feels most appropriate for you.

# Don’t make any demands or put pressure on him

This is a discussion concerning boundaries and limitations. If he isn't prepared to engage in this conversation, you can't compel him to do so. It's possible that he's not ready for the level of commitment you desire. In such a case, you will need to decide how to proceed from there.

# Be honest

If you desire exclusivity or commitment, be straightforward about it. Avoid beating around the bush, as it might portray you as hesitant. Instead, stand firm in your truth. Value yourself enough to be willing to walk away if he doesn't share the same goals and desires as you do.

# Respect their response and wishes

If he shows no interest in exclusivity or commitment to you, there's little you can do to alter his feelings. Attempting to change his mind might only drive him further away.

He has the right to his own reactions and emotions. If both of you aren't on the same page, don't compromise your own desires for him. Respect yourself enough to walk away and seek someone who shares the same aspirations as you do.