Tell me if being in this relationship with your partner puts you through a similar experience – you get this constant feeling that you are chained or duct taped to a pole and you can’t run away or there is a heavy stone placed on your chest and you are fighting for breath. Such suffocating feelings are among sure-fire signs that you are feeling stuck in a relationship.
Now let’s make it very clear from the get-go that feeling stuck in a toxic relationship doesn’t necessarily point to your fear of commitment (although it could be one of the reasons). Neither does it mean that the inevitable end is near. Even if there are some major or minor glitches in your relationship, these can be worked out if both partners are committed to putting in the necessary work to revive their bond and restore it to its original health.
# Stuck in a relationship? Have ‘the talk’ with yourself
Conversations with your own self are the most important ones you’ll have. When you’re feeling trapped in a relationship, the first thing to do is to sit and reflect. There are two mental maps you need to follow. The first is inward; by looking into your own behavior, needs, desires, and emotions. The second is outward; by thinking about the relationship.
There is a possibility that you are feeling confined because of low self-esteem. Dissatisfaction with yourself can, by extension, make you feel unhappy about the relationship. An Instagram once used, “I felt trapped in my relationship when I was in a bad space in my life. I had just lost my job and was feeling like a good-for-nothing. But it took me a while to realize that the source of my discontent was me. And the self is the last place you look, so I kept pegging it on my relationship.”
# Put in the hard work if you want to stop feeling trapped in a relationship
After you’ve figured out the origin of your emotions, put in the efforts toward rectifying it. If you realize that the problem lies with you, build your self-esteem step by step. Enrich your life by socializing with friends and family, taking up a new hobby, exercising and eating healthy, and working diligently. Fix your sleep schedule and cut back on the screen time. Lead a good lifestyle and you’ll notice the difference it makes.
Alternatively, if the relationship is facing problems, work with your partner as a team. The first step would be direct and honest communication. Whether you are feeling stuck in a relationship because of money, security, or because of the constant gaslighting by your partner, be clear in expressing what you want and how you feel.
# A multiple-choice question awaitsAt this junction, you need to consider the options you have. The key question when you’re feeling trapped in a relationship is: “What do I want to do now?” Maybe you would like to take a break from the relationship temporarily. Maybe you would like to break up permanently. Perhaps you want to continue seeing your partner but at a slower pace. There are many alternatives you can look into.
Hitting a pause on the relationship for a while might be beneficial to you both. Time apart can knit you closer and you will get the much-needed space to recalibrate for a bit. Without the commitment of a relationship, you can get comfortable with yourself and do things you like. It will be like hitting reboot! After a few months, get back together with your partner and start afresh.
# No relapses, pleaseThere are certain things you should never do after a breakup or during a break. They include creating drama, slipping into old behavior patterns, starting on-again off-again cycles, and so on. Once you settle on a course of action, stick to it diligently. Resist the temptation to call your ex/partner or stalk them online. Don’t try and maintain a ‘friendship’ right after a breakup. Most importantly, don’t lose sight of the reason you broke up in the first place.
On the other hand, if you have decided to stay in the relationship or marriage and work on it, do it with your heart and soul. Don’t indulge in self-sabotaging behaviors or blame games. Do justice to the decision you have made. Consistency is key when you are trying to stop feeling trapped in a relationship.
# Move on slowly but steadilyDwelling in the past has never helped anyone and it won’t help you. Once you’ve come out of a relationship where you were feeling caged, don’t look back. Keep your eyes on the future and move on with your life. Love yourself! Your progress might be minuscule but that’s okay as long as you’re moving forward. It will get easier with time, and you will reach a place of happiness and peace.
Learn from your mistakes and tendencies, and be sure to avoid them henceforth. Self-awareness will prevent history from repeating itself. Be in a good space when you enter your next relationship and maintain a solid distance from people with abusive or toxic traits. Strive toward finding a wholesome connection; a partner that you want to come back to every day.
# Don’t give up on loveYou can never let a bad experience determine your whole outlook on something. Sure, the relationship was an unhealthy one but that does not mean that all of them will be the same. Don’t lose faith in love, romance, the goodness of connections, and the prospect of dating again just because you were stuck in a relationship that didn’t work for you. You don’t have to get back in the game for a while, but please don’t shun it completely.