6 Steps You Need To Learn To Trust Again

Learning how to trust again is quite possibly the hardest thing you’ll ever learn. When you’ve been betrayed in some way, it’s hard to rebuild that trust, no matter how much you love them. There’s always the belief that someone will break your trust again.

If you’ve been hurt recently, it can feel like someone has taken something exceptional from you. But truthfully, what they have taken is your naivety and your faith in love.

There are two ways to go about a broken heart.

No matter what the cause, you can choose to package it up and, like a broken toe, favor it by keeping it wrapped up so tightly that nothing can harm it again.

# Recognize that you are still alive and kicking

Nothing is more emotionally scarring than someone who doesn’t live up to your trust. But in the end, you have to take stock and see that no matter how hard it was to get through being cheated on, lied to, or talked about behind your back, you are still alive and kicking.

That old saying, “That which doesn’t kill us makes us stronger,” is real. Before you say that you’ll never trust someone else again, you still have so much life and future ahead of you.

So you can only learn how to trust again when you remember you’re still alive. You still have so much time to trust someone else again.

# Moving on is the best revenge

Right now, you may be thinking about ways to get back at the person who betrayed your trust. Often, we think about how we can make someone feel the way they have made us feel. We try to find a way to get inside their heads and do to them what they’ve done to us.

But the best revenge is moving on and being happy.

We assure you, you’ll end up feeling worse than you initially did when you seek revenge. Because really, it won’t change the facts. All it does is build more anger and resentment in your heart, which isn’t healthy.

Even if someone discarded you, cheated on you, or did something really awful, showing them that you are stronger than you appear, have more integrity than they do, and that you will be better off without them is the best way to find it within yourself to move forward and trust again.

# Don’t give of yourself as freely next time

When we’re naive, it’s easy for people to betray us. Take this as a learning opportunity and be wiser the next time around. This doesn’t mean you should never open up at all; that’s not what we’re implying. Instead, if you want to learn how to trust again, don’t give all of you to the next person immediately.

When someone mistreats us, we like to feel as if we were utterly powerless in the situation.

Seeing it as someone else’s fault rather than ourselves absolves us of any guilt or responsibility in our own pain. Likely, your intuition told you there was something wrong long before you found out what they were doing to betray your trust.

When you do find someone to love again, make sure that they are worthy of your trust. Don’t ever ignore the red flags, even if your gut instinct tells you something is clearly off.

# Think about all the things you gain from trusting

There are many people in your life whom you have trusted. Don’t let one person determine how you maneuver through the rest of your life. Even if it was a bad situation, using that one experience to determine everything that will ever happen after negates all the love and support that you have from other people in your life.

Everyone, and we mean everyone, will get hurt a couple of times while alive.

You can’t let one bad relationship overpower all the lovely ones that have graced or that will grace your life. Your past does not dictate your present, no matter what. But it will define you if you keep holding on to that experience.

# Stop blaming yourself

Okay, this is a crucial one. If you want to learn how to trust again, self-blame is not the way to go.

You won’t achieve anything if you keep taking the weight of the blame. If you believe that you are a good person and can find someone who will return your love in the same manner, you will be open to finding love again.

If, on the other hand, you think that you had some part to play in getting hurt, then you will see it as potentially happening again. You didn’t do anything to deserve what you got, and if you open your heart up again to someone more deserving, it’ll be less likely to happen again.

You will never learn to trust again if you keep blaming yourself and thinking everything that happened to you was entirely your fault.

# It’s okay that things change

Often, we wish for just one second that the world would stop spinning. What’s good today has the potential to go wrong tomorrow. The good news is that what is hurtful at the moment will be less so in a couple of days and will only get better from there.

Wanting to return to the past to sort out what happened, stop the situation from coming to fruition, or freezing the good in time just isn’t possible. We move from one relationship to another throughout our lives. That is not a bad thing.