There’s something sexy about dating a younger man or woman, isn’t there? It’s taboo and risky, and you just may be the envy of all of your friends. But buyer beware: you may also be the laughingstock!
The subject seems to be cropping up on Dr. Phil and in the celebrity world more and more these days: massive age differences. Celebs like Nick Cannon, Demi Moore, George Clooney, and Julianne Moore have all dabbled in the world of dating a younger partner–and some of these matches even ended in wedding bells! So, what does it take to make a successful go of a relationship when your partner’s way out of your age bracket? As anyone who’s ever dated someone younger can attest: it takes a lot.
# You may not have a lot in common
This seems like small beans, at first, but before long, the idea of you asking if they remember a certain TV show or this particular singer may have you cringing when they ask, “Um… who?”
You may start thinking, “Oh yeah, you weren’t even born yet.” Don’t let this discourage you, however. While you might not have a lot of common interests, you can still agree on or at least communicate about the important things, such as compassion, the treatment of others, religion, politics, and social issues.
# They won’t be as clever, worldly, or wise as youSad, but true. You may want to say, “But she’s wise beyond her years!” or “He’s really mature for his age!” While both may be true, that still doesn’t mean they are smart people. You’re dating a girl wise beyond her years? She’s still only 18 and, smart as she may be, she doesn’t possess the life experience you do, nor will she ever reach your exact level.
# Other people won’t like itWhile we live in a world that has become highly understanding of age differences in couples, once the age difference goes beyond 10 years, people tend to start raising eyebrows. Is she a gold digger? Is he looking for a cougar and easy sex? What could you possibly have to talk about? “This is a shallow relationship that isn’t going anywhere.”
At least that’s what your friends and family might say.
Although your family may not say these things to your face, the likelihood is that they will at least think them. Unfortunately, people can be cruel and judgmental. Just remember that it is only you and your mate who really know the inner-workings of your relationship.
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You need to know what you wantIf you’re dating a much younger man, you need to know what you’re in it for. Are you looking for young, energetic sex, or are you looking for an actual relationship? If your answer is the latter, then you need to make this clear to your partner, before you start to get in too deep.
# Act your ageSure, you’re dating a 20-year-old… but please don’t think you must begin to act ten years younger than you are. Your younger girlfriend may want to drag you to clubs, and really, who are you to deny a little booty-shaking action?
Just remember: you already lived your 20s, and would you really ever want to go back and do it all over again? Most likely not. Enjoy your time with your new lover, but don’t let their age make you regret yours.
# You may get insecureWhile dating someone younger may start to make you feel like you’ve shed your years, gained some energy, and acquired a renewed sense of adventure, it may also start to make you feel like an old has-been. Keep in mind: while you’re not as enticed by the age of “selfies” as everybody else is, you still have something to offer your relationship.