6 Things You Should Avoid Doing in Long Distance Relationship

The rules of regular dating and an LDR are different. Are you committing any of these mistakes with a partner who’s half a world away?

Long distance relationships always seem to get such a bad rep. Many people seem to think that these relationships won’t last very long. They think it’s just a tiny misunderstanding away from breaking up. The thing that these people don’t know is that a lot of long distance relationships have successfully blossomed into a more mature relationship. In fact, a lot of them end up being so much healthier than your typical I-get-to-touch-my-SO relationships.

# Letting your LDR rule your life

No relationship should take up all of your time. Everyone needs to have some space to do their own thing, whether it’s work, activities or hanging out with loved ones. With long distance relationships, however, the two people involved may think that they need to spend every conceivable moment on the phone or on Skype together.

Quantity doesn’t equal quality. What are you supposed to talk about when you’re limiting each other’s social sphere to a video on a computer or phone? Go out there and do something interesting that you can talk about with your significant other. You can have a full life and still be able to make it home in time for your 9pm Skype session.

# Blaming your partner for lost time at work or school

You may have different time zones, which would require you to sacrifice a bit of time in order to talk to each other. For some, the time zone difference is just a couple of hours. For others, it’s a whole 12 hours. Just imagine waking up at 4am in order to catch your honey right as he gets home from work. This can result in loss of sleep, not being able to function at work or even being late for your obligations.

There is always a means of compromise. Let your significant other know that your activities are important. With the help of technology, you can leave videos and voice messages on each other’s phones. You can text. Compromise is a lot better than just bearing the inconvenience and then blaming your significant other when things go awry.

# Assuming you have the same expectations

No one does. Before you part ways or before you enter into a long distance relationship, you have to make your expectations clear. Say it if you want to talk every day, twice a day, have a video call once a week and so forth. Don’t assume you’re on the same page with this.

On your part, it’s also important that you know what your significant other expects. This allows you to discuss how you can insert your talk time in between your daily activities. Don’t just make it up along the way, because that’s just asking for a ton of misunderstanding and disappointment!

# Relying on one medium for your communication

The internet can get slow, phone lines can be unreliable and snail mail isn’t exactly practical. If your partner isn’t online, don’t instantly assume that you’ve been ditched on your date. Call up their mobile phone, and ask if everything’s okay.

The fact that you can’t physically go to your partner can open you up to a lot of paranoia, especially if your chosen medium flunks out on the other end. Just be patient, and don’t assume the worst immediately.

# Being out of reach during an argument

In a typical relationship, when couples fight and one of them walks out, the other only needs to sprint to catch up and start patching things up. In a long distance relationship, on the other hand, once you hang up, turn off your phone and go offline, what other options does your significant other have?

Your partner is not just a voice inside a gadget. On the other end of the line is a real person who is trying to make your relationship work. Shutting off your gadget won’t make them disappear, and it will only serve to make the problem worse. It’s like the physical equivalent of vanishing into thin air, and no one should have to go through that!

# Settling for just talking

The internet gives you the cheapest and most convenient way of communicating with other people. But it’s also nice to communicate in different ways, like sending snail mail or a postcard. There’s just something sweet and sentimental about knowing that you’re touching something your significant other has also recently touched.

Little surprise packages in the mail are also a sweet gesture, particularly for birthdays or anniversaries. If you’re feeling a little frisky, a little video striptease might even spice things up.